Overcoming Depression 101
Parents of deceased children struggle with a loss that should not have happened
by Cheryl Baumgartner Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Cheryl Baumgartner 
Medical...
Many parents struggle with losing a child. That is something outside the norm. No parent expects to bury their child and it weighs heavily on them. I'm one of these parents. Each year I experience things that trigger grief.
Some of you may have read my blog in which I shared memories of my little "Muffin". That was my mother's doing and it just stuck. As she got older she came to hate that nickname and insisted on everyone calling her by her given name, Gayle. The only one who could get away with Muffin was my mom, but the two of them had an extremely close bond.
I have actively been collecting DVD's and Videos of her performances, and I watch then when I start to get depressed. Instead of mourning the fact that she is not here I focus on the talent she had and think about all of those who watched her and how she helped lift the spirits of others. I'm able to focus on how much she gave to the world rather than the loss.
At her funeral, her ballet teacher who was the director of the local ballet company she danced with ended with this "Gayle was a mischeivous spirit and you never knew what to expect out of her except, that she lived to see others happy" Knowing that others saw her in that light is one of my greatest comforts.
Dec 19th 2007 08:14
Medical...Many parents struggle with losing a child. That is something outside the norm. No parent expects to bury their child and it weighs heavily on them. I'm one of these parents. Each year I experience things that trigger grief.
Some of you may have read my blog in which I shared memories of my little "Muffin". That was my mother's doing and it just stuck. As she got older she came to hate that nickname and insisted on everyone calling her by her given name, Gayle. The only one who could get away with Muffin was my mom, but the two of them had an extremely close bond.
I have actively been collecting DVD's and Videos of her performances, and I watch then when I start to get depressed. Instead of mourning the fact that she is not here I focus on the talent she had and think about all of those who watched her and how she helped lift the spirits of others. I'm able to focus on how much she gave to the world rather than the loss.
At her funeral, her ballet teacher who was the director of the local ballet company she danced with ended with this "Gayle was a mischeivous spirit and you never knew what to expect out of her except, that she lived to see others happy" Knowing that others saw her in that light is one of my greatest comforts.
Dec 19th 2007 08:14
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Comments
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceThank you David. that means a lot. Dec 19th 2007 08:59 |
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Lisa G.
 Health Wellness & Wealth ConsultantCheryl, your courage and strength is a testimonial for all of us. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you continued strength. Please feel free to share about Gayle anytime. Love to hear more about her, anytime you feel like it. Dec 19th 2007 11:18 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceThank you Lisa, There's been some talk about the Ballet uploading some videos of past performances. If they do I'll make sure I include the links! Dec 19th 2007 11:22 |
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Jennifer Underwood
PromoterOh wow. Cheryl I could not imagine what you go through. I mean I had a taste of what death feels like with my daughter...and I still have triggers of that moment. Just like I can not watch anyone drowning on movies. And just out of the blue...that moment comes to mind. But you Cheryl, my heart goes out to you. Although I had a taste of the feeling, I could not imagine experiencing it for the rest of my life. And pray that I do not. Hopefully you are getting all of the help that you need. My grandmother lost her son at age 3 from leukemia. My grandmother never really had the time to 'grieve'. She is 78 years old now, and there are 2 times of the year that is horrible for her. Really horrible. But on the brighter side...you know your 'muffin' is watching you and is taking care of you! :0) Dec 19th 2007 11:30 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceYes she is! It's just hard during the holidays and on her birthday. She would have been 21 this year. Dec 19th 2007 15:15 |
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Jennifer Underwood
PromoterWow. You are definitely in my prayers! Are you celebrating your holidays with other family members? Please make sure you surround your self with a lot of love and support. If I were right there, I would give you a huge hug! Dec 19th 2007 15:53 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceMy family all supports each other this time of the year. She was the family baby being the youngest grandchild. And honestly we are so busy worrying about my niece. She was been seeing a therapist sine the accident. Losing both her grandmother and her cousin in 14 month devastated her. That keeps the rest of us a bit more on an even keel. Dec 19th 2007 16:06 |
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Beth Schmillen
I'd read before of the loss of your precious daughter and that she was going to be 21 this year... I don't know if I expressed my condolences then or not.... but I want you to know that you are in my heart and mind and I think you'll see why: I spent much of my childhood with my Grandmother and she had lost both of here children. My mother died after having 3 children so Wilda stepped in and filled our lives with the Love only a mother can... and my grandmother had already lost a son. He'd been born with a heart condition and the doctors all said he wouldn't live. The family says Wilda loved and willed him to survive with her care and he lived to graduate high school. He'd gotten a brand new pair of shoes for graduation and said I'll wear these until the day I die... (Shoes were well made back then...) and of course as life would have it... he died the next day... Cheryl, you remind me of my grandmother because of your strength and ability to work work work and care for your family and friends.... I wish you a blessed Christmas... Beth I've always felt that our families who've passed away are still with us somehow and I believe your daughter is very proud of you Dec 19th 2007 16:10 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceShe is still with me and now with all of you also. As long as we have the memories and share those memories, our loved ones remain. When you remember you give that person life. Dec 19th 2007 17:52 |
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Jenny Stewart
Cheryl, You have lived through every parents's nightmare and your blog tells a beautiful story about a beautiful girl. I cannot tell you how much I admire your courage in finding the strength to celebrate her life instead of continuing to mourn her death. You have guts lady and I take my hat off to you . You speak of a special daughter, but Gayle had a pretty special mother too. I too believe that our loved ones are up there watching us. She must be so proud of you. A big hug Jenny Dec 19th 2007 18:09 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceThank you Jenny. I try to concentrate on what she gave Dec 19th 2007 21:16 |
From everything I have read, heard, observed, and experienced, loss of a child is probably the most emotionally devastating thing that can happen to a person.
The fact that you are still with us is living testamonial to your strength of character.
I am sure you will have much to share that can help us improve our lives.
My love and Prayers are with you. David
Dec 19th 2007 08:50