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The Fruitcake-- Why Are You Doing This To Me? I Thought You Loved Me! LOL!Posted Date: 2007-12-05 09:30, Pageview: 2500 |
It occurs to me that THE FRUITCAKE, which seems to show up around the Holidays, is an actual Living Organism that has the unique ability to clone itself, and It has been doing so since the Beginnings Of Time...
Perhaps these creatures fell to Earth during the Jurassic Period, some sixty five million years ago, colonised but inadvertently (?) wiped out the Dinosaurs and all other early species, in a successful attempt to escape the ALIEN Species ( From the movie of the same name), the only known creature with the dental hardware to actually EAT one of these things!
THE FRUITCAKE has been used to punish unloved family members in an "Oblique" manner, that is, until one of said family members actually drops one of these colorful blocks of lead on his/her foot... Ever notice how emergency room visits and insurance claims rise during the holidays? It gotta be THE FRUITCAKE, I'm tellin' ya!
THE FRUITCAKE has the amazing ability to remain un-eaten even while sitting on the table in front of a gang of "Wolf Pack Hungry" Football fans from Thanksgiving To Thanksgiving, Proving that It has some type of Invisible Force Field around it...
THE FRUITCAKE also resists Erosion, Corrosion and apparently Fire... It will survive while your Holiday Dinner, that has been forgotten on the stove, goes up in flames...
THE FRUITCAKE has not been known to eat any type of Earthly food, but I suspect that It drinks Rum and Brandy when no one is looking... It always smells of those liquors, and your own bottles always seem to be empty.... Go figure! LOL! :)
More Humour On Fruitcake and a Recipe-- I DO Love you, no matter how it turns out, just don't send me one-- The 2,010 other FRUITCAKES that I have stored in my house might get jealous and attack me! :)
Submit a site to Web Ring it's free!
SIR FRANCIS DRAKE and The Discovery Of The FRUITCAKE!
http://www.mcn.org/2/oseeler/fruitcake.htm
A Giant FRUITCAKE Disguised as Ayer's Rock (Uluru):
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| Only one Fruitie This year! And we have a major Pretzel Producer on our side LOL! Not officially but they have declared war on the evil fruitcake! And BAFF is carrying the war to the world! |
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| No hiding here! Ate a fruitcake last week - very yummy, dark, with cherries, I love fruitcake season, all that marzipan icing, rich dark cake, etc.......... |
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| All the Fruities are hiding, all the fruities are hiding Or are you presently being digested by the evil fruitcake you defended last year? |
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| Preparing to defeat the evil fruitcake again this year! |
 HP: 1314 |
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| I'm going to say that this one is probably an Apsense 1.0 Classic! LOL! |
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| Fruitcake time! Yummmmm Very rich, dark, with lots of alcohol, and almost full of fruit......... can't wait. |
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| Aha almost getting close to time to resurrect this one |
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| This particular FRUITCAKE was blackened with a mixture of some unknown liquor and A1 Steak and Gravy Mix ( West Indian cuisine)... Believe me the aroma was awful...
Having been brought up on pasties, this sounds like a delightful and exotic version. (A pasty [Cornish are the most famous] is a two course dinner in a short-crust pastry shell - savoury at one end and sweet at the other.) The smell? Nothing that a good sousing with highly spiced glühwein wouldn't cure. For a gourmand-cum-glutton like me, there is NO bad food - only food that is less good. Thinking about it, a recipe for chile con frutas springs to mind! There isn't very much I haven't eaten in my life time and I am always open to new challenges.
The Old Coot
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| Aha,m I see Arthur has posted while i was typing my post! Excellent post Arthur. |
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| Thanks for that fine update, Fearless Leader! :)
This battle did not end with the holidays, I am happy to report! :) |
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| Hi Jean and friends, Hope your Christmas went well. We enjoyed ourselves a lot and of course, the traditional Christmas Fruit Cake and the Christmas Pud went down very well. Christmas wouldn't be the same without it. Haven't had the chance to speak to Arthur yet, but I know his wife brought one of her Christmas Specials out. She, of course, is an expert on Fruit Cakes and her fruitcakes are well known amogst her friends and family to be some of the very best around. Mind you, it will be a relief to be back eating the un- iced versions with my tea or coffee. That icing sugar is very unforgiving around the waist line! lol |
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| Good Jeff, We Baff's have to insure that the fruitcake does not attack and possess anyone else. As a matter of fact two fruitcake invasions this year and both ended up in the industrial strength trash compactor on the Garbage truck so that would make the score 3 to 0! |
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| Old Coot, My Friend... For Health's sake...
This particular FRUITCAKE was blackened with a mixture of some unknown liquor and A1 Steak and Gravy Mix ( West Indian cuisine)... Believe me the aroma was awful... Whatever else in this World that I night do to other Humans-- I could never bring myself to the point of allowing anyone to be subjected to bad food! :) |
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HP: 722 |
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| Blast it to blazes, Peaceful,
Why waste perfectly good fruitcake on a bin? Send it to me! My wife has just been over for a few weeks and brought one of the best fruit cakes she has ever made with her. It's all gone now, of course so any spare fruitcake is welcome here! All fruit cake is good - some are just better than others.
The Old Coot
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HP: 1314 |
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| UPDATE! THE FRUITCAKE that attempted to attack me has been destroyed! LOL!
My Client was foolish enough to try to sneak a piece of this obnoxious creature... She ( All of 80 years young) screeched- " Damn! That's NASTY!" and I suggested that she allow me to dispose of same.... Scores: INDUSTRIAL Sized Trashbin- 1 THE FRUITCAKE-- 0 LOL! :) |
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HP: 829 |
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| Hi Jenny, Yes, sitting down with a nice cup of tea or coffee, and a large slice of fruitcake is one of life's little pleasures. It's even better if the fruitcake has marzipan and icing on it, of course. :-) And that picture currently on the blog is making me very very hungry! |
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HP: 1314 |
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| Believe me, Fearless Leader, that was a close one! WHEW!
It even leaked it's sticky juices through the package, and attempted to stick itself to the table. I prevailed after drinking some strong coffee and eating some spinach-- with a struggle, I managed to get it in the freezer, where, hopefully, my client will forget the damn thing until July... :) |
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HP: 2254 |
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| Well Jeff, that was an attempt to take you out of action as the fruitcake knows it is nearing the end of it yearly power peak. And obviously BAFF has been effective. We've Saved Rae this year! LOL! Next year we will be even stronger! |
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HP: 1314 |
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| You are unknowingly fortunate, Mizrae... As you will see this blog is packed with comments for your reading pleasure... I'm very much NOT a FRUITCAKE Fan, but I'm providing a platform for everyone's views...
How Cool is that? :) Welcome Back! :) |
 HP: 347 |
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| I happen to like fruitcake, and wouldn't you know, none came calling (hidden or otherwise) this year! |
| Author Name: Peaceful |
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