The Fruitcake-- Why Are You Doing This To Me? I Thought You Loved Me! LOL!

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
The fruitcake is indeed a mysterious life form. It also has the ability to show up at your house in 5 year increments after you've mysteriously sent it to the relative on your list that you least like. It's like it imprints you on it's memory.
Dec 5th 2007 11:59   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Apparently FRUITCAKES have mistaken my house as a "Worm Hole" for traveling between Dimensions, somehow no matter what I do to dodge 'em, or where I've moved to ta ditch 'em... They loyally find me.. I'm using my connections with The Twilght Zone to get advice... Oh Rod Serling, are you listening, Dude?
Dec 5th 2007 12:07   

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
My question is where do they hide during the months of January till November. I think they must "hibernate" for 11 months out of the year, then for one month they multiply like tribbles. I always end up with 4 or 5 of them. I mail then to relatives, put them in the trash, I've even run one through the garbage disposal, but the next year they are back.

What I need is someone who knows of a really good fruitcake repellent LOL! I don't suppose we could pull Scotty's old Tribbles trick with the fruitcakes. Maybe Klingons would find them edible?
Dec 5th 2007 12:35   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Ya know, those mean Klingons didn't like Tribbles, maybe I should have consulted them about Fruitcakes, which they surely would detest.... The Romulans were simply available for cutting the damn thing! LOL! :)
Dec 5th 2007 12:53   

Jean DAndrea   Retired
I think I must be an alien - I LOVE fruitcake, the richer the better.

And nobody has ever given me one for christmas! :-)
Dec 5th 2007 18:37   

Jean DAndrea   Retired
Hey Cheryl,

I think the badly cooked ones hide out on the shelves of supermarkets
between January and November, but this is only a theory. Better not
say too much, or the fruitcakes may get me.

Dec 5th 2007 18:39   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
I've noticed that Aussies seem to have a special relationship with THE FRUITCAKE, something to do with Ayer's Rock, no doubt! LOL! :)
Dec 5th 2007 18:53   

Lisa G.   Health Wellness & Wealth Consultant
I never had a thing for fruitcake, but my moms famous "Betty Joe Fruit Cake Cookies"
GRAND!

I'll call her for the recipe. I think you would like these. If not, guess they can get filed away with the other Fruit Cakes..lol. Hmm..maybe we can build something cool with them.
Dec 5th 2007 19:01   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Make those cookies if you will, but if you really like them, you must protect them from THE FRUITCAKE. These creatures will attack and assimilate any and all imitators, just like The Borg! LOL! :)
Dec 5th 2007 19:19   

Lisa G.   Health Wellness & Wealth Consultant
Ha..Ha...look at the google ad that's appearing right now..at the bottom of your blog..
Exercise and your bowels..lol. Should say fruitcake and your bowels.


Dec 5th 2007 20:25   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Those Ads are cracking me up! :)

My blogs seem to attract the most unlikely products... The ads for my smelly fuits and vegetables blogs speak for themselves! LOL! :)
Dec 6th 2007 07:13   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Dang It, I KNEW Ayer's Rock was the original FRUITCAKE, the picture link proves it without a doubt! LOL! :)
Dec 6th 2007 13:02   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Listen Up! I have warned folks for YEARS not to try to make or imitate THE FRUITCAKE... Your Mom's attempt PROVES that They don't like being imitated! LOL!

THEY will destroy or ASSIMILATE any and ALL Human creations, without a SHREAD of Mercy, Dammit!... Modern TV Chefs have avoided doing this for years, they got a clue when THE FRUITCAKE tried to destroy Julia- The French Chef, right on Public TV! :)

So when was the last time you ever saw ANYONE on TV try to make one? NEVER... I'll bet! LOL! :)
Dec 6th 2007 13:16   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
The Debil is a mere heat rash, compared to the Hell THE FRUITCAKE can put you through!

Those meteorite deposits that indicate an Earth Shattering collision billions of years ago? You got it... DRIED FRUIT DUST!

THE FRUITCAKE were here raising Hell, before The Debil was even a glimmer of a stupid idea! LOL! :)
Dec 6th 2007 14:09   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Notice how FRUITCAKE always has a shining surface-- Even when everything else in the house get dusty sometimes? I'm tellin' ya people, this stuff is "Not Of This Earth!" LOL! :)
Dec 6th 2007 14:39   

Emily Tanksley   
I LOVE fruitcake.. Probably because I am one... LOL

I have always wondered about the shiny surface.. I hope I do not get all shiny when eating some this year! I do not want the aliens to visit me!


Dec 6th 2007 14:44   

Jeff Greene   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Well let's see, Emily-- That's You and Jean that actually like THE FRUITCAKE... Perhaps that makes for a wide enough audience to distract Them from the rest of us, so I'll be thanking you for saving our Hides! LOL! :)
Dec 6th 2007 15:35   

Jean DAndrea   Retired
Been to Ayers Rock - it's even more indigestible than fruitcake!

Used to have a T-shirt with "I didn't climb Ayers Rock" on it.
It's now called Uluru, the Aboriginal name.
Dec 6th 2007 15:52   

Jenny Stewart   
I have just come over here to see what is going on. And found a vicious attack on that well loved institituion The Fruit Cake.

I love fruit cake, specially the Christmas kind that is soaked in interesting liqueurs and is best made at least 4 months before its eating date and left to mature. Loaded up with dried fruit, and best with extra cherries. My mum's fruitcake is AMAZING and mine aint half bad either. Best with marzipan outside and then iced with hard icing. without Fruit cake there would be no decent Christmas cakes or Wedding Cakes.

If this unwarrented attack on fruit cakes continues - I may need to set up a Fruit Cake Protection Society with Inspectors to match. Then notes will be taken and reports will made of those who attack the defenseless fruit cake. Punic¡shment - forced eating of tastless dried biscuit for a month

Looks good, tastes good and it does you good - all that fruit!!!

Anyone who doesnt want their fruit cake , please send it to me!.

The next thing will be an attack on the Christmas Pud! Don't know what this place is coming to.
Dec 6th 2007 16:02   

Jean DAndrea   Retired
Oooooohhhhhhh Xmas pud!!! Where's mine??? :-) Brandy sauce please!

And I can't resist marzipan on fruit cake......... the calories, the calories........
Dec 6th 2007 16:06