10 hilarious Santa Banta jokes

Santa Banta jokes have made us laugh out loud countless number of times. Since childhood we have been reading and forwarding such jokes with ‘Santa Banta’ as main characters in the story. 

Here we have compiled the 10 most hilarious Santa Banta jokes for you:

 

1. Santa’s unfaithful wife

A co-worker told Santa that his wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with Santa's best friend.

Worried and hurt, Santa ran home at 1:30 to see if this was true.

He came back to the office contented and relieved.

His co-worker asked him how it went.

"Look," said Santa. "Don't start such terrible rumors! That guy isn't my best friend... I don't even know him."

 

2. Santa as salesman

Santa was appointed as sales person at a local store in Chandhigarh.

While on one of his shifts, a lady approached him and asked if they had 'Peach Jam' to which he bluntly replied, "Out of stock."

At this, the lady immediately turned to leave the shop in disgruntlement.

It was then that the shopkeeper, who had been looking on, called Santa aside and told him, "When a customer asks for a product that is out of stock, you apologize for its unavailability, and then offer other types of the same product. For instance in this case it was peach jam; offer other types of jam like pineapple jam, guava, aprioct jam and so on."

 

Next, came in another lady who asked for toilet paper and Santa politely replied, ""I am sorry ma'am, we do not have any toilet paper right now but you could try some carbon paper or sand paper!"

 

3. Santa emails William Shakespeare

Santa: I’ve been sending e-mails to William Shakespeare

Banta: William Shakespeare is dead, stupid

Santa: No wonder he hasn’t replied as well

 

4. Santa goes to a movie

Santa: Should I buy tickets for my children?

Conductor: Yes! Only if they are above 8!

Santa: Thank God, I have only 6 children!!

 

5. Careless Santa

A Bihari, a Bengali and our Santa were arguing in the hospital ward over who was the most careless.

The Bihari guy said, "I'm the most careless, this morning I ramped a pavement and went head on into a wall, totally writing my car off, and now I have to wear this neck brace."

"Wow that is careless," said the Bengali guy, "Not as careless as me though. This morning I drove straight through a red light and into the side of a van. My car is a write off and I've fractured my shoulder."

"That is careless," said Santa, "Not as careless as me though. This morning I took a corner too fast, spiraled out of control, went straight into a lamp post and broke both of my legs."

"That is careless," said the Bihari guy, "But what happened to your car?"

"Car!!! What car?" replied Santa. "I was walking."

 

6. Santa and roommate

Salesman: Which soap you use?

Santa: Baba’s soap, Baba’s paste and Baba’s brush.

Salesman: Is Baba’s an INTERNATIONAL company?

Santa: Baba is my room mate

 

7. Santa and expecting wife

Just as Santa was about to fall asleep, his wife shook him and said, "I hear someone breaking in."

At least two nights a week for twenty years Santa had gone through this. He knew that the only way he would get any rest was to go and check it out. So, he went out for a routine check.

When Santa entered the den he was suprised to see a thief. The man held a gun on him and continued to rob the house.

As the thief was about to leave, Santa said, "You have to go and meet my wife, Jeeto."

The thief said, "Why would you want me to meet your wife?"

Santa replied, "Well, she's been expecting you for 20 years."

 

8. Santa went fishing

Santa and Banta were both fanatics about deep sea fishing. Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they caught.

So Banta comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells Santa, "You wouldn't believe, but in Bahamas I caught a 500 pound herring."

Santa says, "That's nothing, last time I fished in da Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken American ship.... and the candle was still burning!"

They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was lying.

Finally, Santa said to Banta, "Look Banta, if you take 450 pounds from off your herring, I'll blow out my candle!"

 

9. Santa’s second marriage

Santa’s wife dies.

He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously.

Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.

 

10. Santa and a cold day!

There was an Englishman, who was singing, "There was a cold day," whilst having a shit in a cinema toilet.

Our Banta walks by and hearing him singing, "There was a cold day, There was a cold day," he slams the door wide open.

The Englishman in shock says, "What the bloody hell are u doin ?"

Banta replied, "Oh, sorry! I thought you are saying, 'Darwaza Khol De' (open the door)."

 

Source : Santa Banta Jokes