Take a break !! APSense Post a good Joke !!...

Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies

by Dominique G. HR
Dominique G. Senior   HR
-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.

-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street,everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your  enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
May 16th 2008 07:31

Sponsor Ads


Comments

Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
And don't forget bad guys and Rambo all use "infinity" clips in their weapons since they never have to stop and reload. Police however only get regular magazine clips for their weapons.
May 16th 2008 08:39   
Jean DAndrea Senior   Retired
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

My favourite - just saw "Independence Day" again on TV ! :-)

May 16th 2008 18:27   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
And if your name is Jeff Goldblum you are the best bet for dealing with aliens AND dinosaurs!
May 16th 2008 19:57   
Lisa G. Committed   Health Wellness & Wealth Consultant
How is it, the star of the show, usually can dodge every single bullet, and then some random person peaks his head out and gets it? Seems like some of the stars can be compared to the Cyote on RoadRunner (cartoon). Always brush their self off, and get back up again.
May 16th 2008 20:17   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
How come only one house in an entire town gets possessed by noisy, rowdy ghosts, then sinks into the ground in an explosion of blinding white light, and NOBODY else in the neighborhood even bothers to look out the window to see what the hell is going on... No busybodies in the entire town?

That would be a dream come true! LOL! :)
May 21st 2008 09:39   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Why is it that the man fights with the murder/monster giving up his life so the woman can run yet she just stands there and screams at the top of her lungs until the man is dead and then runs? Sorry fella, it was nice while it lasted but no reason for BOTH of us to get hacked to pieces is there?

Better yet.....
Why is it that everyone trips and falls over their own feet when being chased? Personally I would be quicker and more nimble than OJ running through an airport at that point.
May 21st 2008 10:48   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
How is it possible for a 400 foot tall Monster to hide in the middle of Downtown Manhatten Island, and not be seen until it pops out to eat a few folks?
May 21st 2008 11:11   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Why is it that every 400 ft monster in NYC picks a well-known landmark to make it's last stand? Empire State Building, Madison Square Garden, Central Park? Even the Brooklyn Bridge? Do they have NYC tour maps on Monster Island?
May 21st 2008 11:50   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Of course, most of the monsters are from Japan, except for Gorgo-- who was Irish, go figure... And lots of Japanese tourists love the Big Apple! LOL! :)
May 21st 2008 11:54   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Why is it that every female victim in those slasher films are mainly caught "Dead" in their best underwear, and not Grannie panties and a t-shirt ?
May 21st 2008 11:59   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Except for those from Outer Space. They must have to tour maps on Mars too since the Cloverfield monster totally ignored DC and went after Central Park, or maybe he just the oddball since all of the rest of them automatically target Washington.

By the way it's nice to know that the nails on blackboard voice of Slim Whitman is just as deadly to aliens as it is to us!
May 21st 2008 12:01   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Of course, it's also a puzzler as to why on Earth anybody wouldn't be a little bit curious about going to the front door of their Urban townhouse, and finding a seven foot long hairy Cucumber just sitting there on the front steps minding it's own business...
May 21st 2008 12:11   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
How about this list.....

Your beloved child the Zombie won't eat your brains given half a chance.

Houses with windows that look like "eyes" are safe.

You get a speeding ticket in your haste to arrive at Camp Crystal Lake.

The best place for teenagers to have sex is in the woods near the asylum for the "criminally insane".

Men who wear red and black striped sweaters and have fingernails that look like Ginsu Knives are good baby-sitters.

When you child starts spewing Pea soup and rotating her head 360 degrees, it's just a phase.

The best prank in the world is to convince the nerdiest girl in your senior class that she is the prom queen then dump a bucket of blood on her.

When your crazy uncle leaves you a mechanized glass house, it's cool.



May 21st 2008 14:52   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Oh and it's perfectly normal for a huge Rottweiler to stray into your house, the very day you bring your newborn son, Damien, home from the hospital! :)
May 22nd 2008 08:18   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
LOL! And don't worry about Damien's 666 birthmark either!
May 22nd 2008 08:24   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
The best way to avoid getting 'Dead" in a horror movie is:

1. Not to be Female and White and Nekkid

2. Not to be Female and Black and Nekkid

3. Now to be Female and Asian and Nekkid

Shall I continue? LOL! :)
May 22nd 2008 08:44   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Not to be black period, since we have the same life expectancy in a horror movie that the guys in the red shirts have in Star Trek episodes.
May 22nd 2008 09:47   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
How about being a black scientist, raising huge intelligent man-eating sharks, and expecting to survive til the end of the movie...

My bet is on the sharks, for some reason... LOL! :)
May 22nd 2008 09:55   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Even being a scientist of any racial background, and being stupid enough to follow instructions from an Alien Species that teaches you how to combine Human DNA with theirs... All without ever mentioning the fact that you will have created a horny, blood-thirsty stickle-backed monster that breeds like a cock roach... DUH! LOL! :)
May 22nd 2008 10:13   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Poking the monster with a stick at the end of the movie to make sure it's really dead and or poking at a meteorite which has landed and cracked open and appears to contain some gelatinous substance!
May 22nd 2008 12:30   
You are not yet a member of this group.