Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Every year I go through a bout with grief caused depression. It starts on August 3rd and stays with me until Jan 20th. I sometimes have to force myself to get up and move but I also rely heavily on my faith at this time. I also tend to get angry at God during this period but I think he's big enough to take it and understands my pain. I've learned to catch myself when I start to mope and concentrate on positive things.
Dec 19th 2007 07:54   

David Schupbach   
I have had mild depression most of my life, but it was grief that pushed it over the edge.
It wasn't until I could really understand that Life and Death are 2 aspects of an indivisible whole that I could come to terms with it.
The whole process is a cycle, life follows death, and death follows life.
It's OK, Cheryl, it's supposed to happen this way!
Love and best wishes, David
Dec 19th 2007 08:00   

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
It is a difficult thing to deal with, but once you realize that death is not the end it helps
Dec 19th 2007 08:41   

Lisa G.   Health Wellness & Wealth Consultant
Thank you for starting this group, David.

Fear of loosing a child is something that I don't think any parent does not think about. It can happen to anyone. I am so saddened to hear that this happend to you Cheryl.

A child loosing their parent is also a horrible thing. I've seen both situations.

I too, do not belive that death is the last time we will see our loved ones.

I've always heard that it's okay to get mad too. In some strange way, it is a way of healing.
I'm sure you won't ever be judged on getting mad about this, Cheryl.

I personally get great relief and a feeling of hope, when I talk to someone when I am feeling depressed.

A long time ago, I experienced emotional and physical abuse. I used to get so depressed, and my self esteem was so low, that I did not even want to get out of bed. Attending a support group, with others that were going through the same thing, pretty much kept me going. I am no longer in that situation, thank goodness. Some of the books I read during this time frame had lots of helpful thoughts and ideas about depression too. I will have to dig my books back out again.

The other thing that really helped me in more ways than one, was keeping a journal. When I would write in my journal, I would immediately get a sense of calmness and clear focus on my issues and my life. Going back and reading your own journal, depending on the situation, can be healing, or in my case, a wake up call.

I later went through the same ordeal, side by side with a couple of close friends. My own life was even threatened once, trying to help out. I wrote a blog with resources here on Apsense too, if anyone is in or knows someone in this situation.

Cheryl, please sign on to Apsense everyday! As you know, there are some wonderful people here, just like yourself. I know sometimes, we all need time alone, but..if you need someone to talk to, someone will always be here.






Dec 19th 2007 11:44   

Robert A, Falace   
Hi Cheryl,

I have never lost a child to death. I was married once before for 22 years got married when I was 16. there were two girls from that marriage; they are now 26 & 25. To make a long story short, my ex-husband, husband at the time and his mother (Ex-mother-in -law hated me from day one) conspired against me and took my first two children. My in-laws had money and money means power, she took my babies from me on trumped up charges and her son backed her up knowing it was all lies. I Got to spend one last night with my girls (3 & 4 then) before I was forced to let them go. The day I had to say good-bye was one of the most painful things I have ever had to deal with. My three year old wiped away my tears that day and told me not to cry it would be okay. I went into a very deep depression for many years after that. I rarely share this story (and never have I done it publicly) mostly because I still cry ( I am now). In many ways it was a death. God in HIS Mercy and in my latter years (I am 46) gave me a whole new life with Rob and HE gave my beautiful daughter Anna who is now 5. Cheryl, my heart goes out to you that was a great lost and God knows how much that hurt you. You have and will have even more to give back to others, it is through the things we suffer we grow and it is for others.

Sending you a BIG HUGG

Love Ya,
Jo-Ann
Dec 19th 2007 15:08   

Beth Schmillen   
David...

You have created one amazing Group for those of us here at APSense
who are willing to open up to one another about our lives. Our Grief and
loss of loved ones, Depression, Healing, Support from our new found
friends....

Thank you...

I have dealt with depression throughout my life. I may have had it as a child
as well but that's another discussion: Childhood Depression.

Overcoming depression, maintaing your overall mental wellness or coping
with the serious aspects of clinical depression are all great topics that
we can all talk about ... I'll have to see what books and sources online
that I use... (Like Lisa G ... hi Lisa!)

I think open talk like this will also help educate people who have loved
ones that they have always suspected had depression ... find the resources
to help them as well!

This is going to be a wonderful holiday season!
I've come out of the closet!

LOL

Beth

Dec 19th 2007 16:26   

David Schupbach   
Hi again all,
just got back from doing some xmas shopping1 Gosh it was a madhouse!

welcome aboard everybody. i have a feeling this group may serve a useful purpose after all.

One thing about those of us who have experienced deep depression, we have a powerful motivator to help others. we have an empathy that will not quit.
there is little we would not do to help a fellow sufferer.
This is going to be a great group, i can tell.....
Dec 19th 2007 17:40   

Not Here  just want my account deleted
David You have started something quite incredible here. The openess displayed so far is more than enough to have render me basically speachless, some times we get so caught up in things we forget we are dealing with other people. We have no clue what these others have been through, even when they tell us we can only imagine what they went through or are going through, at best. My prayers are with you guys, keep faith.
Dec 20th 2007 02:18   

David Schupbach   
thanks g
i intuitively felt there was a need, especially since i had been more aware of my own tendency at this time of year. true, i have learned to use the tools at my disposal to overcome, but what good is that if i don't share them.... also i can pick up a few new ones....

you are right, about openess... the first step toward change is always admitting you need to change, and that you can't do it on your own....
Dec 20th 2007 03:25   

Lisa G.   Health Wellness & Wealth Consultant
I'm just checking in to the group, really quick today. I did get to read everyones post.
I have to run out again all day today, decorating for Company Christmas parties.
I'll be back tommorrow.

I'm so glad that we have a place to talk to each other now, and feel free to open up!

My prayers and warmest wishes for a Happier New Year to all!
Dec 21st 2007 11:55   

David Schupbach   
Thanks for checking in Lisa, I always make this group a priority!
I am glad to see you feel that way too. Looks like I was right, you will make an excellent Admin for this group. It's that kind of responsibility that we need!
Thanks, D
Dec 21st 2007 22:14