Holy miracles

And it came to pass that Jesus was under-going his forty day free trial (satisfaction or His money back) in the desert when He was assailed by the evil serpent known as Sroogoohit.

"Take ye to a high place" Sroogoohit whispered in His ear, "and all that ye see before ye I will grant unto ye as a boon."

Jesus took Himself to the top of the high tower unit known as Jebel Computerus and saw before Him the riches of Ba'al.

"OK" said Jesus to Sroogoohit, "what is it that you want of me so that I might be granted this boon?"

"All I want of thee" hissed Sroogoohit, "is that ye allow mankind to become shallow. Ye must allow him to become really, really gullible. Ye must allow the development of a predatory minority so that it can exploit the majority. Ye must stop assisiting thy followers when they attack and murder or maim those for whom they have no respect. Finally, ye must not prevent the development of technology by the predatory minority so that their predations can be made automatic and without leaving the sanctuary of their caves"

"Is that all?" asked Jesus. "How long have I got?"

"2,000 years." hissed Sroogoohit.

"I can do that." 

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Created on Dec 31st 1969 18:00. Viewed 0 times.

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Sean North   Business finished my week off great as that Arthur fell off my chair well and truly hit my chuckle button lol, thanks Jul 15th 2011 10:35

Paula van Dun   Retired I agree with Sean. Love it. Hope will you post a lot more of this stuff. Hope a lot of others will read it and pick up the hidden lesson. Goes in the good read collection Jul 15th 2011 10:45

Bj aka Bill Brown   Hosting and Backup Service provider excellent post Arthur Jul 15th 2011 11:23

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance I am laughing at this one. The message is clear but it will go right over the heads of the ones who need to pay attention to it because they will swear up and down on a stack of bibles that it doesn't mean them. Jul 15th 2011 11:35

Buy Great Products   Affiliate Marketer Never joke with some things. Jul 16th 2011 04:37

Bj aka Bill Brown   Hosting and Backup Service provider definitely over their heads Cheryl Jul 16th 2011 08:53

Dave Gilbert   Web Entreprenuer oh yeah very well put arthur just what i needed after a hard days work :) Jul 16th 2011 09:11

Arthur Webster   Just plain honesty Angelcho, if God can't take a joke, He would not have joined. Jul 16th 2011 10:41

Chuck Bartok   Veteran Entrepreneur now Sharing Good to see you in your true Form, Arthur ~~smile~~ Jul 16th 2011 11:17

Roosevelt Evans III   Home Business Entrepreneur I see your point about scammers but some "Jesus people" might be offended by your irreverent use of Jesus to make humorous point. Many peopel's lives have been changed by the "Jesus" you so caricature. Sorry, but I have to stand up for Jesus on this one, Old Coot. No offense meant. Jul 16th 2011 11:29

Arthur Webster   Just plain honesty Roosevelt Evans lll - I'm sure that Jesus is a big boy and can defend himself. I was not struck by a lightning bolt when I wrote this. There is no such thing as "Jesus people" - we were all created equal and no grand-standing or the shrieking of "Aleluyas" will improve a single one of us. These actions only point out the hypocricy that is so rife today. You know, a "Jesus freak" actually had the nerve to say that my father's blindness, my mother's grand mal epilepsy, my three dead wives, my two dead children, my years of pain from cancer and my recent blindness are all punishments by God for my blaphemies. This from a person who would not sit at the same table as a catholic! Thank God for humour - after all, he invented it! Don't believe me? Look in the mirror! Is not mankind the cruelest and funniest of all jokes? Jul 16th 2011 14:33

Roosevelt Evans III   Home Business Entrepreneur No Jesus did not strike you with lightning, Old Coot because that ain't Jesus's Thing. Be very glad I ain't Jesus you blasphemous Old Coot! LOL! And we are not "cruel jokes" but the "Joy Of The LORD". Be Blessed, My Brother! Jul 16th 2011 14:48

Arthur Webster   Just plain honesty "Many people's lives have been changed by the "Jesus" you so caricature." This may well be true but HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of lives have been destroyed by those claiming to know God's will. It is a great pity that a God-given sense of humour is despoiled by those who are prepared to take offence because they feel it is right to do so. One of the teachings of Jesus was to "turn the other cheek". He taught this because He knew that if your other ear is placed forward, you might even hear a better joke! Implicit in turning the other cheek is also maintaining your silence. To paraphrase St. Matthew, if thy spirit scandalize thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee. It is better for thee having no spirit to enter into life, than having a spirit to be cast into hell fire. As a Pope said on his death-bed "Is that it?" - in extremis even he had doubts. He was comforted by a Bishop who told him "You are about to find out - or not". Jul 16th 2011 14:50

Tricia (Patricia) Fahrendorf    Trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ is always the way to go for me. I am on the side of Roosevelt on this one but I also allow everyone to have their own opinion. Old Coot, I have read your bio and I have seen your posts. You are a man who speaks his mind and that is good. For myself, I am not sure I share all of your opinion but I do appreciate your candor on many things. Have a Blessed Day. Jul 19th 2011 06:50