The only good snake is a dead...correction, purse, shoes etc
Confession time! I'm one of those people who has a deathly fear of snakes. If one is in the road, I will swerve to avoid driving over it. I have the paranoid idea that the tires will throw it into the underbody of the car where it will lurk and lie in wait for me to open the door so it can attack.
From my youngest memory I lived with the motto that "the only good snake is a dead snake". Leave it up to the military to change that.....for the worse. My motto is now "the only good snake is a purse, shoes, belt, wallet or any other item you can make from snakeskin.
Funnybones Beware! Tickling Ahead!
It was during one of our regular 45 day "camping trips" that my fear of snakes made itself known in a big way. The 9th Infantry is a "desert" unit. That means we trained and were equipped for desert environments. In an effort to be sure we really understood what desert environment means, arrangements were made to send us to Ft Bliss TX. (note: the only "bliss" we found was on the day we loaded up to go home). Ft Bliss is located in a true desert. Cactus, tumbleweeds, dirt devils and plenty of sand. And one more little creature called a rattlesnake.
Now had we been the only group there, perhaps things would have went along fine. However the Army in its infinite wisdom decided to combine our training mission with Airborne Rangers training mission. The Rangers are made up of men and women who are let's just say one fry short of a Happy Meal. They think it's fun to jump out of perfectly good airplanes while they are flying and trudging through a swamp in water up to their armpits is a nature walk. So they aren't quite right in my book.
As the specialist in charge of Medical Holding for our platoon, My field time was spent pulling guard duty, Playing cards or tending the rare patient who was medically barred from duty but not ill enough for the hospital. Our field time was peaceful and somewhat boring. Leave it up to the "Psychos from Hell" to invade our little camp with a bag of rattle snakes. A 33 gallon Hefty bag over half full of snakes and they were on a mission. Their objective? To secure a scalpel to be used in the skinning of said snakes prior to spitting and roasting them. It was only natural someone would point them in my direction.
Now a Scalpel is something you don't just give out. Especially to people you already believe could use a bit of time on the Psychiatrist's couch. Of course I asked them why they needed it. An explanation was forth coming in the form of "show and tell". I followed the Corporal outside of my cozy little tent. Outside under the camouflage netting were two more psychos with the bag. They were more than happy to show me what was in the bag.
They were not so happy to find themselves tangling in the netting with a panicking medic. The brass were not so happy to order a new camouflage net either. I was very happy since they had to give me a shot of Valium to calm me down enough to cut us all out of the net.
Since that time two things happened. I was given a clinical diagnosis of Herpetophobia (specifically snakes) and dead snakes have made the list of bad snakes too.
From my youngest memory I lived with the motto that "the only good snake is a dead snake". Leave it up to the military to change that.....for the worse. My motto is now "the only good snake is a purse, shoes, belt, wallet or any other item you can make from snakeskin.
Funnybones Beware! Tickling Ahead!
It was during one of our regular 45 day "camping trips" that my fear of snakes made itself known in a big way. The 9th Infantry is a "desert" unit. That means we trained and were equipped for desert environments. In an effort to be sure we really understood what desert environment means, arrangements were made to send us to Ft Bliss TX. (note: the only "bliss" we found was on the day we loaded up to go home). Ft Bliss is located in a true desert. Cactus, tumbleweeds, dirt devils and plenty of sand. And one more little creature called a rattlesnake.
Now had we been the only group there, perhaps things would have went along fine. However the Army in its infinite wisdom decided to combine our training mission with Airborne Rangers training mission. The Rangers are made up of men and women who are let's just say one fry short of a Happy Meal. They think it's fun to jump out of perfectly good airplanes while they are flying and trudging through a swamp in water up to their armpits is a nature walk. So they aren't quite right in my book.
As the specialist in charge of Medical Holding for our platoon, My field time was spent pulling guard duty, Playing cards or tending the rare patient who was medically barred from duty but not ill enough for the hospital. Our field time was peaceful and somewhat boring. Leave it up to the "Psychos from Hell" to invade our little camp with a bag of rattle snakes. A 33 gallon Hefty bag over half full of snakes and they were on a mission. Their objective? To secure a scalpel to be used in the skinning of said snakes prior to spitting and roasting them. It was only natural someone would point them in my direction.
Now a Scalpel is something you don't just give out. Especially to people you already believe could use a bit of time on the Psychiatrist's couch. Of course I asked them why they needed it. An explanation was forth coming in the form of "show and tell". I followed the Corporal outside of my cozy little tent. Outside under the camouflage netting were two more psychos with the bag. They were more than happy to show me what was in the bag.
They were not so happy to find themselves tangling in the netting with a panicking medic. The brass were not so happy to order a new camouflage net either. I was very happy since they had to give me a shot of Valium to calm me down enough to cut us all out of the net.
Since that time two things happened. I was given a clinical diagnosis of Herpetophobia (specifically snakes) and dead snakes have made the list of bad snakes too.
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Comments (53)
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Speaking of scans. Just throwing out the old newspapers and there was an article about a woman who was left in the machine....overnight. And on top of that they locked her in the building. Talk about a case of "Gloopaphobia"!!!!!
Jean DAndrea7
Retired
Haven't seen any of those films, as not a filmgoer, so you're all talking
way over my head! :-)
Jen, If you can't move for an MRI and it takes time, then they're gonna
have to sedate me, that's for sure. I'll really freak in there. :-(
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Those lollipop guys were creepy.
Lisa G.9
Health Wellness & Wealth Consultant
Thanks Cheryl. I'm going to rent it for sure.
It's funny you mentioned the Wizard of Oz. All I have to do to this very day, is mention the flying monkeys to my brother to scare him..ha..ha. They recently came out with the Guild Guy and flying monkey doll, I thought of sending it to him, but that would be too mean.
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Enjoy it. I like the new one much better, no Oompa Loompa nightmares. They were almost a scary as the Lollipop Guild guys in the Wizard of Oz. Must be distant cousins LOL
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
hmmm....now I am going to listen to my kids and watch them...lol and not fall asleep!
Lisa G.9
Health Wellness & Wealth Consultant
I have not seen the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as of yet. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory has always been one of my favs! We nick named by oldest son "Barooka" a long time ago..ha..ha. He is better now though, thank goodness
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
Yeah...I think that is why I blocked the movie out. I remember being scared....LOL!
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Now the Oompa Loompas in the old Gene Wilder version were enough to give you a phobia even if you didn't have one
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
Lol...my kids tried to get me to watch it (well the newer versions) just this weekend. I tried..but fell asleep...LOL!
I watched the original when I was a kid...but I really don't remember much about it..except those little people...I am not even going to try to spell their names...
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
I got a name for that one "Gloopaphobia" As in Augustus Gloop. You have to have seen Charlie and the Chocolate factory to get it.
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
Lol...leave it to us Cheryl...to go from snakes to talk shows...and now scans..
I had am MRI once...I am not one to freak out or anything about being 'closed in'
But that was so freaky...especially when you can not move for the entire time you are in there..or they have to start over. I started thinking about all the noises and sounds and everything that was going on...that I was being scanned by aliens...
I started to freak out a little. (I don't know where that thought had come from)
But i
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
I've learned to live with it. Just give them a wide berth. They don't bother me and I won't bother them!
Jean DAndrea7
Retired
Hi Cheryl,
Understand how you feel about snakes. My sister has a phobia about
spiders. Don't think I have any real phobias like that, but I CAN break
into a cold sweat watching people go caving on TV - those narrow little
holes give me the creeps - they close in on you. Hope I never have
to have a scan in one of those tunnel machines..........
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
The thing is it may be funny, but from experience you have no control over a Phobia. There's a difference in a phobia and a fear. A fear can be faced and overcome. A phobia is an all encompassing paralyzing fear. People who truly have phobias are helpless against them.
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
To be honest ever since I recognized the "Professional Guests" back in the heyday of talk shows, I made it a point not to watch. My mom was addicted to all of them. I see most of that as publicity stunts. I mean how many fat overweight trailer park queens are really married to men who are secretly gay? How many women are there that Slept with dozens of men during the time of conception?
Talk shows are an insult to people who are really having problems. Yes even the absolute Goddess of talk
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
Well....The pickle girl is so funny...
But snakes...to me...are not only those ugly creatures that crawl around (and are great pets to some)
But the BIGGEST snakes to me..I wouldn't even try to taste their ugliness in my pot!
My 'Pop'
Would go out and find snakes...to kill and skin. I have a pair of boots, belt, and hat....
that btw..have NEVER worn!
I have many friends that love snakes, have them for pets,.......
I don't freak out...like the girl with the pickle...Don't be scared for me...
BE
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
I detest TV period, and daytime TV is proving itself to be very worthy of my most vile thoughts.
I do feel sorry for this girl, but Maury really should be a little bit af a man, himself and make his money without exploiting others... He pays peoples with the full knowlege that most will do anything, even risk dignity and Life, and the thought of stuff like that just plain make me ill.
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
k...point being...i hate snakes
LOL
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
I am not a big 'talk show person'...unless it MAKES SENSE and I can use it in my life!
And the pickle girl...she really maybe scared of pickles....
but do you really think it was used for REAL purposes
?
Lots of hits on this one...Don't blame it. And feel real sorry for this girl.
Me I would hug her and help her other than BEING IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE THAT LAUGHS AT HER! And NOT to mention...millions of VIEWERS
Maury is going insane! I am LAUGHING at HIM!