It takes a strong person to be a parent

by Haider Ali Content Writer

 

Keeping up with the day-to-day tasks, giving them what they need, and juggling schedules can bring me to my knees. But most of the time, I can wipe my brow, sigh, and swear my way through hard days. I was made to work hard. On the other hand, it has been a lot harder to get used to the emotional work of being a parent.

 

I will always help my kids if they have tried to help themselves first

 

Watching my kids cry or grunt in frustration as they try to do things that are hard on their bodies is sometimes impossible. However, they are learning new skills quickly as they move toward independence, and sometimes the best thing I can do for them is to stay out of their way. This is also true of how they feel. Even though it's hard for me, it's very important to give my kids the time and space they want and need to figure out how they feel on their own.

 

 

I am a fixer. I feel like I should help. I want to make people, things, and situations better. This reaction isn't rude or mean-spirited; it's caused by a traumatic event. As someone who has PTSD and OCD, I'm always judging what's going on around me.

 

I want to feel safe in the end, but to do that, I need to feel comfortable. Because I am a sometimes messy, still-developing person, I let how I feel depending on how comfortable the other people in my space are. If someone seems upset, sad, or anything other than calm and happy, my anxiety goes up and I want to do or say too much to "make them feel better."

 

This is not fair to me or the people around me in any way. It isn't my job to make sure that everyone is always happy. No one has to be comfortable all the time. People don't need to be fixed; we just need to be able to feel.

 

Pain makes people stronger

 

This is true for kids as well. Pain makes people stronger, and while I don't want my kids to suffer, I do want them to know how to handle stress on their own. I want them to be sure that they can sit still and feel strong emotions. I want them to understand that they can get past them. I keep telling myself that they can do this on their own if they want to.

 

My opinion is that the true problem here is not youngsters behaving Like children

 

Adults fail to behave like adults. Our brains have matured by the time we become adults. It is my sincere wish that we have acquired the capacity to manage our feelings and exercise self-discipline in our actions. The children do not have it. They have not yet reached their final form.

 

Why is it that in our culture we expect that children will behave more responsibly than parents sometimes do? We've also seen films of adults having meltdowns on airlines, hitting flight attendants, cursing passengers, and having to be removed from planes because they can't control themselves. These incidents have been captured on video and shared on social media.

 

Our actions are under your command. The children do not have it. They have not yet reached their final form.

 

 

Why is it that in our culture we expect that children will behave more responsibly than adults sometimes do?

 

We've also seen films of adults having meltdowns on airlines, cursing passengers, and having to be removed from planes because they can't control themselves. These incidents have been captured on video and shared on social media.

 

This brought up a very important issue for me, which I will refer to as the "developmental double standard." We frequently have higher standards for the behavior of children than we do for that adults. If we want our children to be able to control their emotions and behave appropriately in public, then we, as adults, need to demonstrate that we are willing to do the same thing for them. We serve as an example of parenting blog for others to follow.

 

If we truly did, we wouldn't expect parents, and especially mothers, to apologize for the behavior of their children who are only acting like children since we wouldn't be expecting them to do so in the first place. Imagine for a moment that parenting blog had expectations for children that were proportionate to their stages of development as they navigated the world.

 

What would happen if everyone realized that young children have a hard time remaining still when flying?

 

What if it were common knowledge that infants frequently cry? What would happen if it became common knowledge that even adolescents have difficulty making sound choices because their prefrontal cortexes are not fully developed? If everyone had the same level of understanding of how children grow and develop, I believe many things would look quite different. This demonstrates, once more, why I decided to create this site.

 

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Created on Dec 10th 2022 06:09. Viewed 86 times.

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