How to help children with bereavement

Helping children cope with bereavement is one of the toughest challenges a family is likely to face. Depending on the age of the children involved, it may prove very difficult for them to accept the loss of someone close to them. Children aren't stupid, and they do pick up on the distress experienced by adults around them. It can be particularly difficult to minimise the impact on children when you're trying to cope with the loss yourself. There are, however, steps you can to take in order to ensure that the grieving process is no more traumatic than it needs to be.

 

According to the Bereavement Advice Centre, children will react differently to the death of someone close to them depending on their age and level of understanding. It's a good idea to discuss the situation with teachers or anyone else who happens to spend time around your child so that they know to tread carefully. One thing you should seek to avoid is allowing your bereavement to disrupt your child's routine, as this could merely add to their existing sense of uncertainty. Children's moods can fluctuate quite wildly, particularly when they're trying to cope with their grief - this is something that adults also need to be well aware of.

 

It's important to be honest with your children, so don't simply try to sweep your loss under the rug. Make sure you talk to them about the situation you're all facing and don't be afraid to show that you're upset. It's also worth remembering that there are a number of specialist websites and organisations you may wish to consult to help you with the whole process. There's also an extensive selection of literature on the subject, so it might be worth taking a look either on the internet or at your local library to find books which could provide you with some useful advice as you try to help yourself and your children adjust.

 

An article from BBC Health also makes a number of suggestions for families enduring bereavement. For one thing, you should avoid the temptation of using phrases which may mislead the child or somehow add a sense of mystification to what has happened. This is something that many people succumb to when discussing bereavement with children, but it's not particularly helpful. Keep it factual, and make sure you answer any questions your child might have frankly and fully. If your children ask you questions you don't know the answer to, just be honest with them - don't try to fill the gaps by simply making things up.

 

You also need to ensure you make funeral plans so that your children are reasonably well placed to cope with the occasion. Make sure that your children get some preparation in advance so they know what to expect. Some families try to shield children from funerals, but there is in fact no evidence to suggest that attending funerals at a young age does children any lasting harm - in fact, some studies have suggested the opposite. Needless to say, you need to ensure that your children are shown consideration and sympathy to help them through an unquestionably difficult period in their young lives.