Praise with Purpose - How Nursery Staff Encourage Good Behaviour the Right Way

Positive behaviour doesn’t happen by accident. In nursery settings, where children are learning how to interact with others, regulate their emotions, and understand expectations, the role of praise is crucial — but it must be intentional. 

The right kind of praise helps children develop self-awareness, resilience, and a sense of intrinsic motivation. Used incorrectly, however, praise can become empty or even counterproductive.

That’s why forward-thinking nurseries take a purposeful approach to praise, ensuring it supports long-term character growth, not just momentary compliance.

The Psychology Behind Praise

Praise, at its core, is feedback. When given thoughtfully, it reinforces positive behaviours and helps children identify what they’re doing well. But not all praise is created equal.

Generic comments like “Good job!” or “You’re so smart!” may boost momentary confidence, but they don’t tell a child what they did right or how to repeat that behaviour. Over time, children who rely on this kind of external validation may avoid challenges or become overly sensitive to criticism.

Purposeful praise, on the other hand, focuses on effort, process, and specific actions. It sounds more like:

• “You worked really hard to tidy up your area — thank you.”
• “I saw you shared your toys when your friend asked. That was very kind.”
• “You kept trying even when it was difficult. That shows great perseverance.”

This kind of feedback helps children link praise to their choices and effort, building genuine confidence and emotional maturity.

How Purposeful Praise Looks in Practice

In a well-run nursery environment, praise is part of the day-to-day rhythm — not just something that’s doled out in extremes. Staff observe children closely, noting not just the outcomes of their actions, but the intent behind them. They use praise to highlight behaviour that aligns with the values and expectations of the setting.

For example:

• Pro-social behaviour like helping a friend or inviting others to play is praised to encourage empathy and community spirit.
• Emotional regulation — such as taking a deep breath when upset or asking for help instead of yelling — is acknowledged to build resilience.
• Persistence during a task, like completing a tricky puzzle or practising a new skill, is celebrated to promote a growth mindset.

This kind of praise turns abstract concepts like “kindness” or “cooperation” into tangible actions that children can recognise and repeat.

Praise and the Montessori Approach

The principles of purposeful praise align beautifully with Montessori education, which places emphasis on independence, self-discipline, and internal motivation. 

In a Montessori nursery setting, children are not rewarded with stickers or constant applause, but are guided to take satisfaction in their own progress and contributions.

Staff might quietly acknowledge a child’s concentration or problem-solving with a simple observation: “You spent a long time figuring that out on your own.” These affirmations encourage pride in effort and help children become confident, reflective learners.

A setting like Courthouse Montessori adopts this philosophy fully, using praise not as a tool of control, but as a means of nurturing thoughtful, responsible behaviour rooted in respect — for self, others, and the environment.

Striking the Right Balance

It’s important to note that praise doesn’t mean ignoring misbehaviour. In purposeful systems, boundaries are clear, consistent, and calmly enforced. 

But rather than focusing solely on what a child has done wrong, staff use positive reinforcement to highlight what children are doing right — catching good behaviour early and often.

Strategies might include:

• Modelling expected behaviour with verbal cues and consistent actions
• Using praise to redirect — e.g., “I like how Ava is sitting quietly and listening”
• Celebrating progress, not just perfection — e.g., “You’re getting better at waiting your turn”

When used correctly, praise becomes a teaching tool rather than a reward system, helping children internalise positive behaviours for the long term.

Final Thoughts

Praise in early years education is about more than just boosting self-esteem — it’s about shaping the foundation of a child’s moral and social development. When staff use praise with purpose, they help children understand not just what behaviour is expected, but why it matters.

By focusing on effort, empathy, and self-regulation, nurseries create a culture where children feel seen, supported, and motivated to grow. It’s not about creating perfect behaviour — it’s about guiding children to make thoughtful, respectful choices they can be proud of.

In a nurturing, intentional environment like Courthouse Montessori, praise becomes part of a wider philosophy of learning — where every word and action helps children build confidence from the inside out.