You Are the Diamond in Today’s Dating World

Dating these days can feel like running a marathon with no finish line—just an endless loop of situationships, mixed signals, and people who treat commitment like a foreign concept. You match, you talk, you meet, and then… poof. Ghosted. Or worse, strung along just enough to keep your hopes up before they reveal they were “never looking for anything serious” (as if that wasn’t something they could’ve mentioned earlier).

It’s exhausting. It’s disheartening. And it’s all the more reason why, in the world of modern dating, your number one priority needs to be you. Because if you’re constantly adjusting your needs, ignoring your own boundaries, or chasing validation from people who don’t deserve your energy, dating will break you down instead of building you up.

The Reality of Dating Today

Let’s be honest—dating culture has changed. With the rise of dating apps and social media, people have access to more potential partners than ever. But that hasn’t exactly led to better relationships. If anything, it’s made dating feel more disposable.

Ghosting has become rampant with people just vanishing without a trace and leaving you to question what went wrong. It almost feels like inconsistency has become the norm. One day they’re all in, the next they’re distant, while effort continues to feel minimal. But worst of all, commitment has become a rare diamond in the dating world. Everybody is constantly looking for the “better” option who just might be one swipe away.

This culture of half-hearted effort, casual cruelty, and emotional unavailability makes it easy to feel defeated. But here’s the truth: dating doesn’t have to feel like a losing game—if you start playing by your own rules.

Why Not Just Prioritize Yourself, Then?

"Focus on building a strong, secure relationship with yourself first. When you prioritize cultivating a secure attachment style, you'll attract the kind of connection that you’re seeking and that aligns with your values—rather than rushing into something just to keep yourself from feeling alone," shares Jaya Jaya Myra, former immunologist turned best selling author and mind-body wellness expert.

When you focus more on what you want and what makes you feel happy, connected and loved in dating, you shift the focus away from “How do I make them like me?” to “Do I even like them?” You stop overanalyzing their texts, wondering if you’re “too much,” and waiting for their approval. Instead, you become the one doing the choosing.

Jaya Jaya Myra shares a few ways you can start prioritizing yourself in this crazy dating world:

Set Personal Goals and Celebrate Wins

• When you have personal goals and you work towards them daily, it’s easier to not feel disappointed with other areas of life. Set goals frequently and celebrate all of your win, even the small ones. Learning to celebrate you psychologically sets you up for success and to feel better being single.

Practice Self-Care and Gratitude Daily

• Daily is the key to success here -the mind craves consistency to be healthy and happy. If you do things daily that you enjoy as an act of self care, you will be happier and healthier. Prioritize activities that nourish your well-being and focus on the positives in your life to build a strong foundation for happiness.

Pursue Growth and Passions

• Growth and constantly becoming a better, more capable version of yourself is foundational to happiness, with or without a partner. Explore new skills, hobbies, and interests that inspire you, and surround yourself with supportive people who encourage your journey.

At the end of the day, dating is about finding someone who adds to your already amazing life—not someone who becomes the center of it. A deep dive into attachment theory will do a lot of good to better understand yourself and others, especially in the context of partnership and connection building. When you prioritize yourself and are clear on what makes you feel happy and secure, you stop settling for half-hearted effort and start demanding the kind of love you actually deserve.

The right person won’t be scared off by your standards. They’ll meet you at your level. Because the real win in dating isn’t finding someone who finally validates you. It’s realizing you were whole all along.

Image by Lala Azizli