The Monkey and The Tax Woman

Recently,as some of you may know I was in the Hospital with Pnemonia,and through ilness and laziness I missed my Tax deadline for my employees returns.Therefore.I was goinged to be fined,for late  returns.Being a Scotsman I don't want to part with a penny,unless I had too.

   So I phoned up the tax office and after the eternal wait I got through to a real voice and it was a woman (in the UK beeing in hospital isn't an excuse).So I told this woman that I had been in hospital,and when I got out,I had enouth time to finalise my returns,but what had happened was while I was in Hospital my pet Monkey must have got a hold of the keyboard and some how changed my password for the tax office.She said that still wasn't an excuse and I agreed.

   Then I told her the monkey had cost me a fortune while I was in Hospital,as he had change my bank account codes,and numorous other things as well.I assumed he had got the wireless keyboard.So I had paid a local Crofter(Scottish small farmer) a £100 to shoot the Monkey in the afternoon,she replied,starting to cry,could I not give him to a Zoo,I said no he's cost me far to much and it was quicker and cheaper to shoot him.As she was crying,she said if I didn't shoot the monkey I would get a 2 week extension for my tax returns and I wouldn't be Fined.So,reluclantly I agreed not to shoot the Monkey and I would have my Tax Returns in within the next 2 weeks.

  I would have loved to be a fly on the wall,when she told her boss why she was crying.

The moral of the story (which is true),is get yourself a Monkey,as it is cheaper to buy bananas,than pay tax fines.

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Created on Dec 31st 1969 18:00. Viewed 0 times.

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Brandon B.  Beta Tester / Reviewer Learned something very informative. Good idea and very well said. Jun 4th 2011 02:00

Catherine M.   titok, NEM ROSSZ ...................................................................................................................................................................................................BY Jun 4th 2011 02:56

Thor Sydneyman   Web Designer, Blogger, Affiliate Marketer Hello David, you've got a very good way of dealing with unfavorable circumstances and turn it to a positive ending. I wish I can get a clever monkey like your one. I would train that monkey to speak to the tax woman and do the explanation. Jun 4th 2011 02:56

Dijana Rajicic   Sffilste finance I would train that monkey to speak to the tax woman and do the explanation. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jun 4th 2011 03:22

Anita Miller    Very clever! I need a monkey who is trained in house work....LOL Jun 4th 2011 04:12

David C.   manager I will sell you my monkey save me shooting him,because he cheats at cards and monopoly Jun 4th 2011 04:19

Cindy Bolley   HHCTB? David that is hilarious I was so worried about that monkey but... if he cheats at cards and monopoly no telling what other stuff he does. But like Anita would over look it if he could help with the house work! Cindy Jun 4th 2011 05:38

David C.   manager I asked him if he would do House work he said No he dosen't get his hands dirty,as he needs them clean to play the next door Neighbours dog at Chess Jun 4th 2011 05:55

Genome    David has shared a funny story with us. it has definitely brought a laugh on our faces. so lets Please pray for him and for his entire family, may God keep him healthy with a happy long life and enjoy every moment with his family and others. ....:) Jun 4th 2011 07:38

David C.   manager Thank you Tauheed for that,it was Cindy who told me to post it as it was too good not too be shared with everyone else.The only problem is when I next deal with the Tax office I better make sure my sums are right,they might have forgotten in a year,I hope. Jun 4th 2011 08:01

Vps Malhotra   Free Lancer That is no monkey business my friends ! Monkeys abound everywhere and specifiacally in my country that is India but shooting is not allowed it gets you to Jail Lucky my friend you got tax extention I am working this idea of yours if at all I may pressed to need an extention due to circumastnce beyond my control I shall be happy to noe what Cindy has poited out to have a full hearted laugh All the best After all laughing is not a Monkey busness AAHH Jun 4th 2011 08:25

David C.   manager You had me and the Monkey worried,but in Scotland you can shoot anything as long as you are on an Estate we were going to take monkey up to the Estate to be dispatched. Jun 4th 2011 08:30

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance That Monkey must be related to the dogs my friends had back when I was in school. These particular dogs wanted nothing to do with eating Dog Chow, their diet was completely comprised of eating homework due the next day! Jun 4th 2011 09:18

Sergio Felix   IT Pro I really can't believe this monkey was THAT clever! It'd be hilarious to actually watch him using your keyboard on its own hahaha (I wonder what he was looking for tho?) Thanks for sharing this David, definitely worth re-sharing! ;-) Jun 4th 2011 10:34

Alvin E Johnson   Online Marketing Connection And why shot the innocent monkey any way? The monkey was not responsible for the laziness of the taxpayer. We take innocence too lightly and lessen our chances of survival. Just think about that for a few moments. Jun 4th 2011 11:45

David C.   manager I used to have a dog when I was at school who would eat due homewrk and made me miss the bus for school as he followed me to the bus-stop and I had to take him home and when I got back I had missed the bus.I thought about it for a moment O.M.C no I still say the Monkey did it if you have anykind of proof you would say so I've got the monkey tied and Gagged in the corner,Found out he was trying to download naked Monkies Sergio-Felix problem is I don't know what sex Male or Female does anyone know what "ugha-ugha aaa ssddffzz use his credit card means in English" Jun 4th 2011 13:21

Philippe Moisan   Tutorial videos, sci-fi writer LOL I already knew the story, but it's great idea to write here. Thumbs up! I hope you never use my twins in such a negotiation, David :) Jun 4th 2011 16:28

Sergio Felix   IT Pro LOL David, maybe he was just trying to get a job at MailChimp's. Jun 4th 2011 16:59

A Father Of one   Mystery Man Very funny David. I am glad you are getting better and still have your APSense of humor.While you are at it I heard Nessie was hungry, hint hint! That is less money than paying a local Crofter. Have a great day over in Scotland. :) Jun 4th 2011 18:24

Philippe Moisan   Tutorial videos, sci-fi writer "Your APSense of humor". Never thought of that. Thanks, Glenn, I will use the expression with your permission. :) Jun 4th 2011 19:58

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