Emotional Abuse. The Hidden Abuse. There is help and hope for domestic violence!

This is such a timely subject. Abuse does come in different forms. The physical abuse is clearly easy to notice, but emotional and mental abuse are usually not so easy to be noticed by others. It is interesting to me how so many people think bullying is such a bad thing and yet I see them doing their bullying in the form of mental an emotional bullying to their kids or spouse or parents or even co-workers. A subject that needs much more attention.

So true, if is a very difficult subject, and it's one that can take great courage for the victim to seek help and great courage for the abusive partner or friend to seek help also.

Wishing strength, courage, knowledge and hope for those who may be in an abusive relationship, strength and happiness for those who are no longer in a abusive relationship or have a relationship that has survived and is a healthy relationship now, and strength and knowledge to know how to help someone who may nee

This is a very difficult topic, but needs to be addressed. thanks, and happy hoidays.

I'm glad you mentioned the people who are reading this blog Jen.

If just one person who reads this finds it encouraging and it gives them that bit of courage to take a step out of an abusive situation, then you have just weritten the best blog in the World Lisa.

AND

if the people who are reading this can just start to understand that ALL abuse is abuse and not just physical abuse, and realise that THEY CAN HELP, then it has more than doubly done its job.

Please people, the best thing you

Yeah. As a matter of fact. My left arm starts to tingle when I talk about it. Weird....but it does.
They say I had a nervous break down after it...but I don't remember it.
But I just remember being safe.
I love sleep too!!! LOL! I sure didn't get that from my parents getting up at 4am every day ..and still do.
Shoot. I did that for 4 years...had to be at work from 6-4pm...and my booty was in the bed at 8pm.
LOL....since I resigned..I don't think I have been to bed that early si

Jen, I love sleep more than the other guy, but it sure would be nice if we could have longer days and need less hours sleeping..lol.

I hope no one thinks anyone is opening up their hearts and personal lives in this blog for attention. They would be incredibly wrong. It takes a lot of couage to talk about it, as Penny metioned... it can be like re-living it when you are talking about it. Some of the old emotions, pain and fear will temporarily re-surface again, it's bound to.

Given the

Well, again I promise I am not out looking for this as an attention grabber. But it is the truth, and I know that there is someone reading this that (I hope not...but statistics say yes) is going through the same thing.

Yes, I am very familiar with the different resources available (probably called almost all of them)
Right now, life has my plate full...and this blog could be my way of helping at the time being. I have tapped into a few sources and have offered my hand. And I know that G

I wish I had been there to help you, Jen. I agree with Beth, look what a wonderful person you are, you all are! I've seen this kind of thing more than I thought. After reading your stories, I remembered another recent situation. It just goes to show how many need help, here we are, from many different places, and either have been through it are know someone who has. I've always wished I could do something more to help too.

Jen you metioned you wanted to also help. I do know, that so

Thank you Beth! :0)

Where you at my house Lisa????
Just like the time I gave him two black eyes...he sucker punched me right in the jaw *as if I was a man*...now this man was 10 yrs older than me too and much bigger than me! But out of reaction..I threw a coffee mug at him and that is how he got the black eyes.
The one thing that I learned about him is he was so miserable with himself that he had to make everyone else around him miserable...well me any how.
The people at his work (he had worked there like 10 years

Hi Jen...

You are an amazing woman who did get out... I am so proud of you.

..and look where you are now! (smiles)
Beth

One other thing, as seen in the cycle, the tables get turned, and the abuser trys to pretend that they are the ones being abused. For an example: I have personally seen the abuser yelling and cursing, while they (the victim) stands there trembling and crying, and then later they say, didnt' you hear her screaming at me, she crazy..don't you think so too.

As Jen said, it's a lot of mind games. On top of that, when the person does seek help from friends or family, a lot of times it's shrugged

Some very good points. I know for my friend, acknowldgement of the wrong doings being done her, meant so much to her, but it never ever came from him. It's sad, but is not abnormal at all..that the victim gets victimized even by the ones that are supposed to care, espcially in emotional and verbal abuse situations. A lot of times, others will not fully belive her or him. The desperate cry for help can be so apparent, but so hard for others to see sometimes.

Mike,
I thank you for your comments...but abuse is abuse. Especially when it is someone that you love, or thinks loves you. It is a brainwashing game...and the abuser makes themselves look like the victim and you as the culprit! When I did 'stand up for myself', that is where the physical abuse started to play...and when I started to fight back..is when the police started getting involved. Trust me I did fight back! I even gave the jackass two big fat black eyes! (of course only out of defen

Hi again,

Mike, in spite of the valuable comments you have made - i would take you to task on this

"I think for someone in the situation they need to be positive" This is the problem for most people - these are not times when you are ABLE top be positive, objective or anything else that its particularly useful to you, in order to get out of the situation.

Emotional abuse - is just that - ABUSE - and abuse causes wounds - in this case emotional, which leave you demoralized, debilitated and of

Thank you very, very much Mike!
That is very helpful information and advice that you have added to this subject..

I think your blog is very good at straight to the point, the cycle you demonstrate is very true, i seen this emotional abuse with many friends over the years.
The victim feels too intimated to stand up for themselves or that something may turn physical, this year some friends of mine went through marriage problems where the husband was a very angry and volatile man.

He would always look to blow up over anything and everything, shouting at his wife or kids for no reason, then be fine for 5min

I'm so glad that you ladies are able to talk about your experiences now.
You just never know who may read this blog, or tell someone else about it, and who you may help.

You are all more healed than you may think. Being able to talk about your past is a true sign of healing.

My friend, was not able to open up for many years. The most helpless I ever felt in my lifetime, was when I saw her put into a mental institution, and saw her with a broke leg. Long story, but her abusive husband

Thank you Jenny and Penny.
Yes, it is so very sad at the people that go through this. I am still and probably always will be healing the scars that happened (and although this is the worse of it), there are so many other stories that I can share. Hence this was my second marriage...with my second crazy husband.
I thought I had an omen when it came to men. I thought that maybe some where I had a sign on my forhead, back, somewhere that said 'abusive men...come pick me'.
But then I figur

Wise words, Jenny, and true. At the time, I had never even heard of domestic violence, and thought that my situation was unique. I certainly didn't know that help was available. Since then, there has been a lot more publicity about domestic violence, both physical and emotional. I hope that having accessible information and support helps people.