The mysterious case of the disappearing peas

When I was small we lived with my grandparents so my mother could take care of them.  They were both very active but each had health problems.  Having their daughter and three grandchildren in the house kept them lively.

As a child I hated peas.  We had peas on a regular basis, straight from the garden.  I remember many an afternoon spent shelling peas with my grandmother.  Whenever we had peas I had a problem.  How to make them disappear from my plate without actually eating them.  I remember for at least a year pretending they were pills and putting a few in my mouth then swallowing them whole with a big gulp of water.  Effective yes but I always ended up with a major stomach ache.  I knew I had to think of something else.

On day as I sat at the kitchen table I found my solution.  We had one of the old formica topped tables with the aluminum legs.  There was a plastic cap at the bottom of the legs but the tops were open and they were hollow! 

My little six year old brain now had a plan!  It wasn't long before the dreaded peas appeared for supper.  Sneakily, I would take a hand ful of peas and drop them in the top of the table legs.  Since there were two tubes on each leg I had eight empty little receptacles waiting.  I used my position as the family "baby" to change my seating spot each time those little green nightmares made their appearance.  But to the family it seemed I had outgrown my dislike of peas. Ha! Little did they know.

For two years straight I fed the kitty.  It's amazing but never once did anyone catch on.  No odor no nothing, just a steadily growing secret cache of peas hidden away in the legs of the trusty old table.  Eventually my grandparents passed on.  My mother began to sink into depression and finally decided a change of scenery was needed.  She made plans to move the family to New York among our relatives there.

Moving day arrived.  The U-Haul truck sat outside awaiting our belongings.  In order to get everything on the truck the decision was made to break down the table.  My secret was about to be discovered.  Being a normal eight year old I figured the best bet was to make myself scarce.  I was hiding in the bedroom among boxes and broken down beds when I heard my mom laughing hysterically. 

I carefully tiptoed to the kitchen door and there was my mom with tears rolling down her cheeks and holding her sides laughing.  They table was upside down with the legs sticking up in the air and the inverted top was full of two years worth of mummified peas!

When she managed to compose herself she grabbed me and gave me a big hug!  She liked the idea of having her own "Pea Houdini" and never missed a chance to tell the story of the disappearing peas!