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Will you miss me when I am gone?
by Arthur Webster Just plain honesty
Arthur Webster 
Just plain honesty
The last two week-ends have been somewhat stressful as my poor, abused body decided that it had taken just about all it could - and went on strike! I have lived in a world of pain for forty-odd years but it shot up to a whole new level and I really did not expect to come out of it.
Consecutive week-ends at the emergency unit of my local clinic and the nearest general hospital (Hopital Clinico, Málaga) have underlined, once again, my mortality and proven my resilience.
My wife has visited over the past fortnight and it occured to me that there are very few of my friends that she knows. When I counted how many she did know, I got as far as "2". This is the price of being, more or less, house bound and living in the etherial world of the internet.
It got me to thinking what a shallow affair my funeral would be. Nobody would get here in time to attend! Nobody would actually be aware that I had died because I do not have a set up whereby an announcement could be made to those who know me on line - not even those who have supported me with thousands of dollars over the past two years.
The internet is a blessing and a curse. I 'know' many people on line because of the internet but I 'know' very few people off line because of the internet. I have friends and acquaintances that I talk to, but I cannot say that I am an integral part of any body's social circle.
It doesn't help that I am a very strong personality and really cannot abide the posturing and feeble entities that try to entice me into their circles. What is the point of me joining, for example, the local branch of a well known ex-servicemens club when I know that every member will claim a service rank to which he is not entitled and be forever bashing my brains out with his recollections of situations he never experienced.
I was ejected from one such club because I burst out laughing when one member was spouting on about how brilliant his aim was with a service revolver. It reflected a total lack of familiarity with this weapon on the part of just about every person at the meeting that they thought I was being disrespectful.
Give me a Lee Enfield .303 and I will hit anything up to 500 yards away and probably 7 out of 10 things 1,000 yards away. Give me a revolver and put me inside a barn with the doors closed and I would probably fail to hit the barn! This guy could hit anything 100 yards away, according to his claim, with a standard service revolver - best joke I heard in years!
I digress.
I am not the easiest of people to get along with unless you are genuinely who you say you are because I have a built in B.S. detector that is directly connected to my laughing tackle. The more B.S. is detected, the more I laugh.
My family might miss me when I am gone but it does occur to me that not many other people will.
Does that upset me?
Since, at the time, I will be dead, not at all.
Jul 15th 2008 06:00
Just plain honestyThe last two week-ends have been somewhat stressful as my poor, abused body decided that it had taken just about all it could - and went on strike! I have lived in a world of pain for forty-odd years but it shot up to a whole new level and I really did not expect to come out of it.
Consecutive week-ends at the emergency unit of my local clinic and the nearest general hospital (Hopital Clinico, Málaga) have underlined, once again, my mortality and proven my resilience.
My wife has visited over the past fortnight and it occured to me that there are very few of my friends that she knows. When I counted how many she did know, I got as far as "2". This is the price of being, more or less, house bound and living in the etherial world of the internet.
It got me to thinking what a shallow affair my funeral would be. Nobody would get here in time to attend! Nobody would actually be aware that I had died because I do not have a set up whereby an announcement could be made to those who know me on line - not even those who have supported me with thousands of dollars over the past two years.
The internet is a blessing and a curse. I 'know' many people on line because of the internet but I 'know' very few people off line because of the internet. I have friends and acquaintances that I talk to, but I cannot say that I am an integral part of any body's social circle.
It doesn't help that I am a very strong personality and really cannot abide the posturing and feeble entities that try to entice me into their circles. What is the point of me joining, for example, the local branch of a well known ex-servicemens club when I know that every member will claim a service rank to which he is not entitled and be forever bashing my brains out with his recollections of situations he never experienced.
I was ejected from one such club because I burst out laughing when one member was spouting on about how brilliant his aim was with a service revolver. It reflected a total lack of familiarity with this weapon on the part of just about every person at the meeting that they thought I was being disrespectful.
Give me a Lee Enfield .303 and I will hit anything up to 500 yards away and probably 7 out of 10 things 1,000 yards away. Give me a revolver and put me inside a barn with the doors closed and I would probably fail to hit the barn! This guy could hit anything 100 yards away, according to his claim, with a standard service revolver - best joke I heard in years!
I digress.
I am not the easiest of people to get along with unless you are genuinely who you say you are because I have a built in B.S. detector that is directly connected to my laughing tackle. The more B.S. is detected, the more I laugh.
My family might miss me when I am gone but it does occur to me that not many other people will.
Does that upset me?
Since, at the time, I will be dead, not at all.
Jul 15th 2008 06:00
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Comments
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David Schupbach
Being a typical male, this is something I normally would admit only under duress, but your post has me in tears, literally! Partly I suppose because we have lost several in the past few months, and 8 in the last 5 years. One of the sources of our suffering is that we die all "alone", alone in the sense that no one can go with us to make it easier. There is no one who can walk through the experience at our side as we go to keep away what I imagine must be a terrific feeling of loneliness. I differ with Inaki in that I accept we will eventually part from everyone and everything in this conditional reality, but that does not make the seperation any more welcome. I expect Jenny will keep me posted, as she is a very reliable friend, But with the uncertainty of this life being what it is, I may be gone before you my friend, even though I am only 50, and my health is good at this moment. Arthur, I regret the physical distance between us that makes it impossible to sit in a cool spot under the trees with our favorite beverage and just talk an afternoon away, but I sincerely appreciate the valuable insights that I have gained through our acquaintence. My wife Karen occasionally asks me how you are, she knows of you solely through a few of your postings I have read to her, but your personality has impressed itself in a small way even on to her... I think you will be missed far more than you suspect my friend, and I am proud to call you my friend! I am by nature, rather anti-social, partly because so few people can understand me, although many THINK they do. Therefore, I tend to look to very few people for inspiration, and the ones I do are exceptional. YOU, my friend, are EXCEPTIONAL!!!!! D Jul 15th 2008 07:35 |
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Jenny Stewart
 Hi all - "reliable friend" here! Hey Dave noone has ever called me reliable before! LOL Am speaking to Arthur as I write. He sounds remarkably cheerful and still retains his outrageous sense of humour and we are presently discussing the lamentable state if US electioneering!! Will report back - but have to stay on the line or I will lose the arguement Jenny Jul 15th 2008 07:54 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
 Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceArthur there will be a massive void left in my life when you "transcend". I will have no one left that understands the art of debate. I may have never sat in your living room and shared a drink or or given you a hug of friendship but I do consider you a friend. Besides I know there are good people waiting to welcome you on the other side, If you think I can argue and debate, just wait until you meet my mom! I'm sure that Jenny will keep us updated and while I may not be sitting at your funeral, I will grieve anyway from half a world away. But that time is not now. You've still got too much fight in you not to just tell the Grim Reaper where he can go and what he can do on the way! Jul 15th 2008 08:11 |
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Arthur Webster
Just plain honestyHi, all, I'll tell you very simply, it'll take a gang to nail the lid down on me! Being the curmudgeon that I am, I am highly flattered by the responses to my post which was a simple reflection on my position in the world. A couple more 'near misses' are only more grist to my mill as I bellow "Is that all you've got!!!?" Dave, we all have our time and we are all blessed with not knowing when it is. This is why my wife's neighbours, in their late 70s, have just started saving for their old age. I value your friendship and appreciate your reaction. Jul 15th 2008 12:15 |
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Not Here
 just want my account deletedWell, I don't really have anything intelligent to say at the moment...clearly your real friends will miss you Arthur. As for me, when I'm gone they can chuck me in the bush for all I care....no need for no fancy $12,000 box! Jul 15th 2008 13:36 |
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Jean DAndrea
RetiredOf course you will be missed, Arthur! Your posts are always ready by me, although not always commented on, and your viewpoint is usually refreshing. Jul 15th 2008 21:01 |
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Dave Thomas
 Arthur, When that day comes as it does to all of us then I have to say that yes I will miss you. I must admit that I delete a lot of posts without even reading them - but never yours as you always seem to have something pertinent to say. I don't always agree with your point of view but you always make me think - which is never a bad thing Regards Dave Jul 16th 2008 01:11 |
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Mark Hultgren
Wordpress SpecialistHello OC, As far as missing you when you 'take the first step of your next journey' I cannot say I will "miss" you. I will rejoice for you since you have completed your journey on this world. These are my feelings when it comes to death......Those who cry when someone dies are crying for their own loss, I believe that when someone dies, they are in a better place (if they are right with God and have received their redemption). If that be the case, then they are much better off than those of us left here to struggle through existence and make what the world sees as a life out of it. Life is a gift from above, and should be treated as such. Will I miss our discussions? Most assuredly yes! I enjoy the viewpoints you bring to a discussion (although I may not agree with them entirely :-) ) and it is our differing perspectives that make us what we are, human! I feel honored to be able to consider you as a friend, and will continue to enjoy the conversations that we will be allowed to continue. When the time comes, may you experience the peace and rest that all good soldiers yearn for. And when you go, go with God as your guide. Jul 16th 2008 06:50 |
Difficult to find the right words to respond with. I cetainly cannot pretend to know what you have gone through all these years nor the impact that recent developments have had on you or your wife.
But I can say that missing you is not an acceptable option. I expect you to battle on as you have always done, because it is not in your nature to do otherwise.
So no farewells, my friend, otherwise I will miss the opportunity to discuss and disagree with you on so many topics that we both enjoy sharing our thoughts on :-)
Jul 15th 2008 07:08