Overcoming Depression 101
Another Kind of Loss
by Jean DAndrea Retired
Jean DAndrea 
Retired
Grief over a loss is often a trigger for depression, and the loss of a child or
loved one if one of the worst, although there are many other kinds.
The trigger for my worst ever bout of depression was my marriage breaking
up.
This is just as bad as someone dying - worse, in some ways, because for
a while you are in shock that this has happened, also disbelief. You are
sitting around waiting for your partner to call and say it was all a big mistake.
Here in Australia, to get a divorce in most cases, you just have to be separated
for twelve months, and then can apply to the courts for your divorce.
This twelve months is one of the most difficult times I've ever lived through.
Packing up and selecting the few things I'd take with me, finding somewhere
to live, finding a job after five years of casual work when I felt like it, finding
new friends in another state.
All of those things are difficult enough on their own, but when you are seeing
the world through a dark haze of depression, it's even harder. Plus there is
the pain of it all lurking inside, waiting for a weak moment to strike at you again.
It does strike, often, and hard, and it take a long time to ease.
Eventually, you accept what has happened, and move on, but getting yourself
started, and lifting yourself above that depressive haze is extremely hard.
Some never make it.
I was lucky - recognising I had a problem this time, I got professional help.
Even so, it took several years before I felt 'normal' again.
I can't say often enough, to everyone, if you think you've got a problem,
then the best thing to do is admit it, and ask for help. Don't wait, do it now!
Dec 19th 2007 19:23
RetiredGrief over a loss is often a trigger for depression, and the loss of a child or
loved one if one of the worst, although there are many other kinds.
The trigger for my worst ever bout of depression was my marriage breaking
up.
This is just as bad as someone dying - worse, in some ways, because for
a while you are in shock that this has happened, also disbelief. You are
sitting around waiting for your partner to call and say it was all a big mistake.
Here in Australia, to get a divorce in most cases, you just have to be separated
for twelve months, and then can apply to the courts for your divorce.
This twelve months is one of the most difficult times I've ever lived through.
Packing up and selecting the few things I'd take with me, finding somewhere
to live, finding a job after five years of casual work when I felt like it, finding
new friends in another state.
All of those things are difficult enough on their own, but when you are seeing
the world through a dark haze of depression, it's even harder. Plus there is
the pain of it all lurking inside, waiting for a weak moment to strike at you again.
It does strike, often, and hard, and it take a long time to ease.
Eventually, you accept what has happened, and move on, but getting yourself
started, and lifting yourself above that depressive haze is extremely hard.
Some never make it.
I was lucky - recognising I had a problem this time, I got professional help.
Even so, it took several years before I felt 'normal' again.
I can't say often enough, to everyone, if you think you've got a problem,
then the best thing to do is admit it, and ask for help. Don't wait, do it now!
Dec 19th 2007 19:23
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Comments
|
David Schupbach
jean, you are so right.... divorce is recognized as being a kind of death in our minds. when a loved one dies, we have a terrible struggle accepting the difference between reality as we thought it would be, and reality as it is. i thing one of the reasons zen helped me is because it points out this difference, and forces you to face it..... we all build up this false perception in our head of how things are, and we are devastated to discover they are not that way. any kind of loss is a struggle, but especially loss of someone or something that we have deep emotional attachment to.... i had another struggle when i lost my home... added to all the other loss it was a real struggle.... Dec 20th 2007 03:55 |
Jean I was blessed to have a strong faith and a loving family. It amazes me sometimes knowing what I've gone through and wondering how I got through it. All I can say is support from family and friends, and most importantly my faith is all that has held me up over the past two years.
Dec 19th 2007 19:31