Why You Shouldn’t Feel Like You’ve Failed by Filing for Divorce

You’ve waited…hoping things would change. Maybe you and your partner have gone to counselling. But now the only part of your marriage that isn’t over is the paperwork. You waited because you didn’t want the marriage to fail. All that effort – the time you put in – it seems like it was all for nothing. 

Sometimes, things just don’t work out. You don’t feel that you’ve failed at a job when you turn in your resignation. So why feel that you’ve failed at marriage when you make that appointment with separation lawyers in Perth? 

Everyone hopes that their marriage will last, as we say in the vows, ‘til death do us part. The truth is that it often doesn’t. Just as you or a job may change to the point that you’re not the right fit anymore, so can a marriage. 

Let’s say you’ve been in a job for five years, and your employer suddenly cuts your pay without reason. Your frustration and anger is justifiable. Your friends and family will doubtless support your decision to leave the job. Sometimes, one partner does something specific that causes a divorce – like cheating or physical abuse. In those cases, most people would tell you that getting out of the marriage is the right thing to do. No one needs to be treated badly. The marriage hasn’t failed – you’ve actually made a successful decision to leave a bad marriage – just as you left the bad job. 

But what if there isn’t really a big reason you and your partner can’t stay together? What if you just don’t get along as well as you did right after the wedding? Does that mean you’ve failed?

Let’s look at the job scenario again. After five years, your employer still treats you wonderfully. You get regular annual pay increases, and your boss is generous and understanding. But your job has changed a little. The company took away some of your department’s duties and replaced them with others, and the job just doesn’t fit right anymore. You go to work every day, but you’re just going through the motions. You don’t hate it, but you’re not happy, either. In that case, would you leave and find a job that makes you proud to go to work every day? Most people would. Even with this scenario where your job isn’t exactly horrible, you still wouldn’t say you’ve failed if you leave. You’d say you have a right to be happy. 

If your marriage isn’t working for whatever reason, you haven’t failed. Something may have changed, or maybe you and your partner just grew apart. The days of staying at a job your entire life are gone, and staying with a partner who doesn’t make you happy isn’t success. When you’re ready to leave, top family lawyers in Perth can help you step away.

Report this Page