Top 6 Ways to Encourage Confidence-building in Teens

by Priya Dharod Parenting Counselor

There are lots of physical, psychological, emotional, and social changes that happen during adolescence, and it can be a tough and confusing time for teens. This is when, as parents, we need to focus on building confidence in our teenagers. Developing self-confidence is key to helping teenagers achieve their goals, build better relationships, and become resilient in the face of challenges.

As parents, we want our teens to feel confident about who they are, and we play a vital role in shaping their personalities. Our actions and words vastly help our children choose the right path. This blog will highlight the various steps parents can take to induce confidence-building in teens.

How parents can encourage confidence-building in teens

1. Focus efforts over results

Rather than praising your teen for getting a good grade on an exam, praise them for all the studying they did. Instead of saying "Great job scoring high marks in your exam," say "All that studying you've been doing has been paying off." Show them that it's important to try hard and that hard work matters even if it doesn’t lead to success all the time.

Your teen can control the effort they put into their work but they can't always control the outcome that comes from it. It's important to acknowledge their exuberance and effort so they don't think they are only worthy of praise when they succeed.

2. Accept failure as a learning

It's essential for you to remain calm and level-headed when your child makes a mistake or hits a setback. If you criticize, freak out, or brush the failure off, you're sending the message that there's no hope for improvement in the future. Instead, take a deep breath and open up the conversation with your teen. Encourage them to consider questions like:

Ø Where things started to go wrong

Ø What influenced this decision

Ø What they learned from this situation

Ø How they plan to move forward in a positive direction

When we help our teens see failures as learning experiences, they can overcome any obstacle in their path.

3. Encourage growth over a fixed mindset

Many teenagers are caught in a “fixed mindset” about themselves or what they can or cannot achieve and often feel lost about how to move forward.

Try incorporating conversations about growth mindset into your family conversations. Talk about the importance of learning from mistakes, and point out areas where you’ve seen your teen improve. Even if your teen seems resistant at first, keep bringing these messages up in casual conversation, reminding them that their abilities are not set in stone, but that there is always a potential for growth and development.

4. Promote extra-curricular activities

Encourage your teenager to pursue their hobbies and get involved in more activities. It's crucial for your teenager to do well at anything they enjoy and find interest in. Extracurricular activities present excellent learning opportunities for success, failure, and obstacles. They also bolster your teenager’s confidence a great deal. These activities instil a positive team spirit in your teenager and teach them how to work together towards a shared goal.

5. Normalize giving and receiving compliments

Demonstrating confidence in yourself can have a big impact on your child's self-confidence. Even if you've taught your teen to be polite and deliver compliments, it can be more challenging to show them how to accept compliments. It's important for you to be okay with receiving compliments. Try not to shy away from or downplay the compliments you get from others. If you can show your teenager that you know your own worth, they'll see this as normal behaviour and feel more relaxed receiving praise for their accomplishments. In your house, make a culture of compliments with a focus on giving and receiving compliments confidently and easily.

6. Make positive self-talk the norm

The way your teen talks to themselves inside their head will have a big impact on how they feel about themselves. If they’re constantly thinking things like, “I’m so ugly,” or “No one likes me,” it’s going to make them feel bad. Try to help your teenager avoid comparing themselves to others, or letting any negative thoughts take over. Encourage them to focus on the qualities, skills, and attributes they like about themselves instead.

Engaging in positive self-talk is about focusing on the things you like about yourself and celebrating these. It could be as simple as going around the dinner table and having each family member acknowledge one thing they did well that day and why they’re proud of themselves for it.

Self-confidence is a key for teenagers--it helps them succeed academically, make friends, and have a great social life.

Learn more about this topic with positive parenting programs at Kosh Wellness! Avail of a 1:1 Personalized Counseling Session with our expert parenting consultants today!