Life Vs Afterlife

I realized that I did not want to go to Law School. Opulence For Life Review Oh the horror of horrors. My family was appalled. They thought I had no direction and I was wasting my life. I still have an Aunt, who to this day still asks if I will reconsider my decision to not go to Law School. I had to restore my family's honour and do something prestigious with my life. It would help if I went to Oxford or Cambridge University. I have even found myself encouraging my nephew to use his grades to apply to Oxford or Cambridge. I want him to make something of his life and get the opportunities I never got. I hope he forgives me for putting that on him.

Even though the decision to not go to Law School was mine, I still spent the next ten years of my life resenting my life. I just know that if I gotten certain opportunities, I would have had a better life. Yes that was how deeply obsessed and meshed my identity was with the "right schools", the "meeting the right people", marrying "up" and living the "right affluent lifestyle". To add fuel to the fire, I sacrificed my life for "family" and that did not turn out well. It actually blew up in my face. More pain and resentment.

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I have spent many years resenting my life and where it has ended up. As a result, things came into my life to help me feel worse about that life. Yes, I have done many things that brought me happiness, but that was fleeting for me. Throughout all that, I learned something very important. No matter how much we may love our surface life, it will be fleeting if beneath all that we are filled with resentment for the life we felt we had missed out on.

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Created on Dec 31st 1969 18:00. Viewed 0 times.

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