Is the Digital Age Making Our Kids Depressed?

by marcy sanford writer

While many of the changes and challenges that tweens and teens face are timeless - insecurity, body changes, new and, often unpleasant, kids body odor; others are brand new thanks to the digital developments. Our children are the first generation to grow up always having a smartphone in their lives with easy access to the Internet, social media and digital entertainment. Researcher Jean Twenge has dubbed the generation of children born between 1995 and 2012 as iGen.

As parents we are facing new and unforeseen parenting challenges that most of us cannot understand. When we were kids, if someone at school was bothering us, you were most likely, able to forget about them once you were home but now with social media and text groups, school bullies can reach your child at anytime anywhere they are. If we were bored, we read a book or went outside, thought up a new game or learned an old one. We didn’t turn to a little mobile device where we could see pictures of everyone else having fun. Even as adults it can be difficult to not feel a bit of jealousy when all your friends and acquaintances – even those you barely know - seem to be living a much more exciting and glamorous life then you. Face it, people rarely post, I’m bored after doing laundry all day and am now eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s or “my kid has body odor”. If we as adults can become overwhelmed by social media and the need to stay connected to our phones, how can we expect our kids to be any different?

While the title of Twenge’s new book iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy – and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood – and What That Means for the Rest of Us may have more words than most kids’ tweets or texts, it does have some outstanding advice for and sobering information about the digital challenges facing our children.

A professor of psychology at San Diego University, Twenge has been researching generational differences for nearly 25 years since she was a PhD student at the University of Michigan. In her book she says she was, “used to seeing generational changes happening slowly and steadily usually taking a decade or two of steady change before becoming the norm,” but that in 2012 she started seeing large, abrupt shifts in teens’ behaviors and emotional states.

Overall she has found that teens are not hanging out with friends in person as much as they used to, are in no rush to drive or date and are getting less sleep. But the main problematic issue is that despite being constantly connected, they are lonelier than other generations. And rates of teen depression and suicide have risen rapidly since 2011.

It’s no wonder that social media can lead to teen depression. According to Twenge the average teen checks his or her phone 80 times a day. Constantly checking social media to see what others are doing and then comparing your life to theirs can easily lead to depression. But what can you do to keep your child off their phone? Especially when, “everyone else is doing it.”

1. When you say, “no devices at the dinner table,” mean it and follow the rule yourself.

2. Make your child charge any electronic devices that can connect to the Internet in the kitchen or other family room overnight. Never let them go to bed with their phone next to them.

3. Pick a few days a month to go phoneless for the day. Take a trip to a state park or local museum and leave your phone at home and encourage your child to do the same.

4. Talk with other parents and listen to the common issues like, “my daughter has body odor” or “my son has body odor”.

5. Encourage them to participate in sports or join clubs to stay active on the weekends.

According to a national survey 7 in 10 young people are victims of cyber bullying and 37 percent experience cyber bullying on a frequent basis. October is cyber security awareness month and the Department of Homeland Security issued lots of great information throughout the month to help parents keep their children safe. They offer these tips.

1. Create an open and honest environment with kids.

2. Start conversations regularly about practicing online safety.

3. Emphasize the concept of credibility to teens: not everything they see on the Internet is true and people on the Internet may not be who they appear to be.

4. Talk to your children about the importance of owning their digital lives and only sharing things that will not put them in danger, negatively affect their future, or harm others.

5. Watch for changes in behavior – if your child suddenly avoids the computer, it may be a sign they are being bullied online

6. Review security settings and privacy polices for the websites kids frequent. These settings are frequently updated so check back regularly.

7. Make sure mobile devices are secure. Use PINs and passwords, only install apps from trusted sources, and understand the privacy settings and permissions for all apps.

The rise of the digital age doesn’t have to be the rise of the depressed age. Social media can be a great way to stay in touch with friends and family who don’t live close by but the key, as with most things, is moderation. In an interview with the Philadelphia Inquirer, Twenge said, “Sporadic use is unlikely to be harmful. Electronic device use was linked to unhappiness and mental health issue only after more than two hours of use a day.”

Helpful Resources –

Common Sense Media – Step-by-Step Tips to Set Up Your Kid’s iPhone

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/step-by-step-tips-to-set-up-your-kids-iphone

Homeland Security – Cyber security Resources

https://www.dhs.gov/publication/stopthinkconnect-parent-and-educator-resources

Dr. Jean Twenge

http://www.jeantwenge.com/igen-book-by-dr-jean-twenge/