I was sitting in my San Diego office a few weeks ago admiring the beautiful weather when a call came in from a young man in Chicago. He wanted to know what hypnotherapy and Neuro Linguistic Programming Techniques could do for a person who lacked confidence.

I asked the young man how his lack of self confidence was affecting him.

He told me that although he was very confident in most situations, when he saw a women he felt was attractive he wasn’t able to get up the courage to speak with her. I told him as Master NLP Practitioner and hypnotherapist who has practiced hypnotherapy for decades I could assure him that he could build his self confidence using simple techniques found in hypnotherapy and Neuro Linguistic Programming.

But before I tell you about this young man’s results, let’s talk about self confidence.

What is Self Confidence?

A person who is self confident is self assured. They have accepted themselves as they are and have a high level of self esteem.

One definition of self confidence is “a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment.”

In other words, if you have self confidence you have a good perception of yourself and your abilities. Self confidence allows you to take more risks and gives you a better chance of being successful at what you attempt.

If you don’t succeed, you see the attempt as feedback instead of failure.

What Happens if You Don’t Have Self Confidence?

If you lack self confidence you won’t trust in your abilities and you won’t succeed, just as with the young man who came to my office because he “couldn’t talk with women.”

Although he was a good looking young man who had established a promising career, his lack of self confidence was holding him back. After we talked it was plain to see that it was actually holding him back from opportunities with the company he worked for as well.

He told me he had heard about a position that he thought himself qualified for but then, after thinking about it, thought that he should wait to apply until he had a little more experience. In reality it was his lack of confidence was preventing him from trusting in his abilities and trying to get the new position.

The Comfort Zone

People with a low level of self confidence tend to stay in their "comfort zone". They avoid even the smallest risks because they dread the thought of rejection.

In social situations this can lead to a social phobia, like my client was exhibiting. The problem with this is this can sometimes lead to other mental conditions such as depression.

These people are afraid of being judged by their peers. As a result they will avoid talking to new people, which can result in deeper isolation and even lower self confidence.

The biggest problem with a lack of self confidence is that it can become a vicious trap that is extremely difficult to break free of.

Breaking Free of the Comfort Zone

People that believe in their own abilities are able to do break free of the comfort zone. They do what they feel is right and don't look for the approval of their peers.

Their confidence sets off confidence in others. Their boss, employees, customers, friends or relatives are more likely to trust them or what they are telling them.

Where Does this Lack of Self Confidence Come from?

While there are many different experiences that can contribute to low self confidence, much research points to parenting style a major contributor to a child’s self confidence.

Physical and emotional abuses during childhood are examples of the worse influences for a child's self confidence and also, divorce and family conflicts.

Parents who are too protective can also contribute to a child's social phobia. This is because it hampers the independence that is necessary for a child to develop self confidence.

Successes and failures, at school or in one's professional life, also play a significant role in the development of self confidence. Your self confidence can be affected if you have lost a job, failed a class or had a relationship that ended badly.

Overcoming the Past

No matter what experiences are in your past, there are methods you can use to overcome them and build self confidence.

The first step to build self confidence would be to write down all your strengths as well as your weaknesses. This inventory gives you written proof of what you are good at as well as what you may need work on.

Give yourself credit for the things you are good at. Congratulate yourself for them.

Now accept the things you need improvement in. Remember, the only way to improve anything is to recognize that a weakness exists. This will allow you to start taking calculated risks that can build your self confidence.

How to Build Your Self Confidence

If you feel you need to build your self confidence there are many books you can read as well as recordings and videos. But remember, much of your lack of confidence is located in your subconisous mind. So while learning conscious techniques can be helpful, to build your self confidence you’ll need to work with your subconisous mind.

Hypnotherapy and NLP can now readily and effectively help you build your self confidence. Hypnotherapy and NLP can help communicate your conscious desires to your subconisous mind. This can shift your beliefs and boost your self confidence.

These effective tools will help you face your fears and develop a deep belief in yourself. Believing in yourself will allow you to develop your natural abilities and become the person you were meant to be.

How Can Hypnotherapy and NLP Help You Meet Women?

Even though he wasn’t in San Diego, after a short conversation the young man decided to give hypnotherapy and Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques for building self confidence a try.

As an experienced Master NLP practitioner and hypnotherapist I have found that it is nearly as simple to help clients over the phone as in person. We had a session that day and then followed up with 3 more sessions. By his third session he had approached and gotten the phone numbers of a half dozen women.

To say the least, he was ecstatic.

Will it Work for Me?

While no one can promise that you’ll have the same results as this young man, using hypnotherapy and Neuro Linguistic Programming techniques can make reaching your subconisous thoughts is a lot easier.

This can allow you to replace your negative thought patterns with positive ones, thought patterns that will build your self confidence to the point that you can live the life of your dreams.