The Big Lie You Tell Yourself That Makes Him Disappear

by Alex Wise Expert advice on first dates, online dating, love,

The Big Relationship Lie Starts Out Small

The problem starts the moment he tells you he is not looking for a committed relationship.

Your typical response is to tell him…

You also are not interested in a serious relationship. Just like him you are looking for someone you can enjoy spending some time with.

No Strings Attached Relationships

But no strings attached (N.S.A.). Liar, liar pants on fire. You know you are lying the moment the words, “I’m not interested in a serious relationship either,” leaves your mouth.

Women In Emotional Pain

Everyday I get emails from women who are in serious emotional pain about their relationships with men. These women are confused. They are frustrated. They can’t figure men out.

Why are they attracting emotionally unavailable men? They want an answer. they want relief from their pain. Why? Because, they want to know how to get the guy they have been having sex with for a few months, and maybe a year or longer, who said he was not interested in a committed relationship— to commit. Help me out here…

What is it about when you, a single woman convinces herself that the guy she is dating (or maybe not actually dating) and having sex with will eventually make a man commit to you?

The Big Relationship Lie You Tell Yourself

Your thinking goes like this, “Once he realizes what a wonderful person I am and how much I love him… he will let go of his resistance fear to being in a committed relationship with me”.

Are you getting the picture?

He Told You, He Would Not Commit

The men have been very upfront with these women. Hey will say things like they are not good at being in relationships or they

can’t commit to only one person. They have made it perfectly clear from the get go that they have no interest in a committed monogamous relationship.

Yet the women somehow don’t believe the guy knows what he is talking about and they are out to prove him wrong. Later, they email asking why men won’t commit?

If you have been spending time on my website and getting my emails and listening to my videos, you know that I warn you about what happens when you start having sex before you have true monogamous commitment from a man.

When You Play This Game, You Are At A Disadvantage

Remember, when a woman has sex her biological chemistry changes and she can’t stop herself from feeling bonded to her sex partner. Now, if it is just a one night stand often, you’ll handle that emotion and move on. But if you have sex on a regular basis with him you’re hooked.

There is no vaccination or antidote that can change your biological chemistry that causes you to feel bonded to him. It is just the way we women are wired. It’s like part of our DNA.

The Guy Sees The Situation Totally Differently

Now for the guy it is a whole different experience. He is looking for the thrill of the chase. He’s looking for the conquest Once he lures you into his den through his charm and romancing, he’s excited and happy for his success in getting you in-between the sheets.

He’s Not Emotionally Bonded To You

But he is not feeling anything close to an emotional bond toward you. Men aren’t wired that way. Sex and emotions are not tied together for him as they are for the female. In fact, after that 1st time of seducing you and winning, his interest in many cases is knocked down a notch (just the opposite of what you are experiencing).

From then on, he’s open to have a sex partner…

Also, known as a Friend With Benefits (F.W.B.). He’s in heaven just the way it is, no strings attached sex and then out to play softball with his guy pals. Until, he tires of you and your obsession for more (commitment) from him…

And then he disappears. Gone. No more late night phone calls from him. No more sexy text messages. No more steamy emails. It’s adios, but he didn’t say goodbye. He just disappeared. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But my goal is to get all women to take an oath.

Promise Yourself

You will stop this insanity of sleeping with a guy and trying to get a man to commit down the line.

If you to take this oath, here are the rules you must play by:

‘Stop The Relationship Insanity’ Promise:

1. Promise: You will never have sex with a man until you are certain that you are in a truly committed relationship and he has said so and demonstrated it with his actions.

2. Promise: When a man tells you he is not interested in a committed relationship, you believe him and move on.

3. Promise: From this day forward you will never ask how to get a man to commit, because you know you can’t. This is an indicator that you are stuck in a relationship that is going nowhere.

If you dedicate yourself to these 3 powerful rules I promise you that you will never feel the hurt, pain and disappointment again from a non-committed man.

If you do this… it will free you to meet Mr. Right and enjoy all the benefits of a committed and loving relationship.