Overcoming Jealousy of Past Relationships

It may seem like an odd thing, but jealousy over a partner’s past relationships is actually a relatively common occurrence in Lehi, Utah and across the nation. While many are able to move past these conflicting emotions, some require the help of marriage counseling to ensure this doesn’t become a crippling problem in the relationship.

How Does it Start?

While jealousy is typically focused on current behavior or fear of future actions, it can often affect relationships when past affairs (or even past relationships in general) come to light. Psychology Today cites the example of a couple who had been married for 77 years getting a divorce after an affair from 60 years earlier was discovered. Learning of past negative behavior can ultimately have a harmful impact on one’s current perception of their spouse as well, leading many to need marriage counseling.

Even when an affair is not involved, some partners experience jealousy and insecurity from the knowledge that their partner was once happy (and potentially intimate) with another person. For many in Lehi and elsewhere, obsessing over this can create serious problems in a relationship.

How Can it be Overcome?

As with many marital issues, open and honest communication regarding your concerns is an important first step in overcoming these jealous feelings. Waiting Till Marriage explains that a concerned partner should “figure out what is bothering you, and why.” After determining these two things, it is important to explain your feelings to your partner in a non-accusatory manner.

Other recommendations include focusing on the positive aspects of your partner (especially what first made them attractive to you). Some couples in Lehi and elsewhere find that marriage counseling is helpful in finding constructive ways to overcome feelings of jealousy. It is important to realize that jealousy is never positive. The sooner you can move past such feelings, the better.

Kevin Johnson is a relationship writer reporter for Fusion 360, an SEO and content marketing agency. Information provided by Swinton Counseling. Follow on Twitter