Dating with Herpes - My TOP 3 Important Tips to Remember Before Datingby Jason John Dating coach@hivpositivedatingsites
I'm gonna share three tips on dating with herpes. i was diagnosed with hsv2 in 2014 how I had just got ghosted by the guy who I believe gave me herpes days before my 33rd birthday. I was so broken and I was so hurt and i just remember my self-esteem being so low so to go from there in that moment when I hadn't even been diagnosed with herpes yet I had just been ghosted to go from there to where I am nowhere at 38 a few years later god is good so I'm gonna share with you three tips to dating with herpes.
1. Heal first:
Heal first you don't know how many times I've heard people come to me and say this guy likes me or this girl likes me and I told him about my herpes and they still like me but now I kind of feel some type of way about it that's because during the time of dealing with your diagnosis you put more emphasis on getting accepted and being accepted by someone else than you actually did accept yourself.
Healing is truly just surrendering and acceptance at another level right accepting your diagnosis, accepting that it's not going anywhere. it was meant to teach you a lesson if you really want to learn what that lesson is you have that opportunity available but if you go from one broken relationship or situation to another and you're still broken, guess what you're gonna have the same outcome right. so if you keep taking your brokenness into different situations you're just gonna meet people who are broken too or you're gonna meet someone who's attracted to your brokenness you're gonna meet someone who sees you realizes you're broken even though you don't realize it because you think you're over it because you're in you haven't addressed it. you're in denial about it you're avoiding dealing with your herpes.
So you're just gonna get out there and the date and then people's gonna be accepting you and now people's accepting you so you swear you're good but guess what then you start feeling insecure about your herpes even when you do get somebody accepting your diagnosis. So if you take the intentional time while you're single to work on yourself to work through your issues I had to work through my insecurity I had to work through the low self-esteem I had to work through the trust issues I had to work through the fact that I didn't feel confident Herpes Dating out here. I had to work through the fact that I didn't think I knew what men wanted I didn't have to I had to work through the fact that I didn't know how to really show up in relationships because I had never seen that many healthy relationships around me.so I had to realize that I was doing the best that I could for what I knew. heal first before you start dating somebody.
2. Do Not Repeat Same Mistakes:
Before my herpes diagnosis, I never talked to a guy about his sexual past my sexual past bringing up past std diagnosis asking them if they were having unprotected sex with other people asking about their sex life in general literally never had the conversation with any guy before my herpes diagnosis because I was too scared, I was too embarrassed, I felt like they're gonna think I'm a weirdo. if I bring up these questions and even back then I wasn't even aware or I wasn't even herpes positive at the time and I still didn't feel comfortable about talking about sex with someone.
So you're supposed to be having sex with somebody but you're not supposed to talk about sex before you do it like where'd they do that at so after moving forward from my herpes positive status it forced me it required me to be more responsible sexually. so and then is how up in situations prior to being sexually active like have you ever had an std before you know I have boom here's what's going on like I just got more confident in talking to a partner before actually sleeping with them. and so I wasn't making the same as the same mistakes I was making before my diagnosis so whatever mistakes you were making not avoiding not running when you see red flags. letting things slide that you really shouldn't let slide like whatever mistakes you made prior to your diagnosis that only you know about work on those mistakes and don't repeat them. let your diagnosis be a lesson indeed and teach you some things so you don't operate in the same fashion and do the same things as you were doing before your diagnosis. So, do different know better do better, and do not make the same mistakes.
3 Know Your Worth and Have Standards:
Dating with Herpes is knowing your worth have some doggone standards, have some requirements that someone must meet before they can just be all up in your life be all between your legs. if you're having sex which you shouldn't be unless you're married let's not even going there like and if you are and that's what you choose to do great.
Standards are i have to have someone who shares the same belief beliefs as me spiritually standards are i do not date smokers standards are i do not date people who are emotionally physically or mentally abusive to me.
Created on Feb 25th 2022 02:36. Viewed 247 times.