Brazil’s Most Wanted: Drunken Monkey With a Butcher Knife

On Feb. 5^th in Patos, Brazil, firefighters rushed to the scene of an emergency only to the suspect to be a drunken monkey. Reports say that the monkey drank a whole glass of rum prior to attacking customers outside of a local bar. While you can’t exactly send monkeys to alcohol rehab centers or lock them up in jail, authorities are debating on what to do with the primate. 

What started out as a tame monkey wondering into a local bar in Patos – a site you don’t exactly see everyday in places like Los Angeles, California – led to a rum-drinking, knife attacking event. 

Witnesses and staff say that the monkey seemed to be tame at first.  He was reported to have drunk a whole glass of rum before grabbing a butcher knife and running around aggressively towards people. Strangely enough the monkey, named Chico, was only attacking men and not women. 

When people started leaving the bar, the monkey ran around – knife at hand – and started drinking the ‘chachaca’ that was left in cups. Some would say he is in desperate need for alcohol rehab centers in Los Angeles or elsewhere because this monkey has got a drinking problem. 

The fire department was called in to handle the situation. After disarming the animal and removing him from the premises for the safety of the public, they decided to release him back into the wild. 

No one was injured during the event and the situation was handled smoothly, but this wasn’t the last of this drunken, knife-loving animal. 

After releasing Chico back into the wild they were forced to capture him once again for being aggressive toward residents in a neighborhood along the woods. Whether or not the monkey was still intoxicated is unknown, however, you can’t blame alcohol for his apparent anger problems.  

Since there are no alcohol rehab centers or prisons for monkeys, authorities are still deciding whether the monkey should be released again because, well, that was his second offense. There’s no record of incidents like this occurring in Los Angeles or elsewhere, which makes you question the monkeys of Brazil. 

The event took place in early February all the way in Brazil; however, this kind of news travels the world fast and is the talk of the week in Los Angeles and elsewhere. The monkey, Chico, is known world-wide for its alcohol and aggression problems. 

If alcohol rehab centers can’t help him who knows what will. We can only hope that Chico gets clean and gets his aggressive behavior under control. Otherwise — watch out people of Brazil, this monkey is coming for you next.  

Alyssa Koenig is a health writer for Fusion 360, an SEO and content marketing agency. Information provided by Miramar Drug and Alcohol Rehab Centers. Follow on Twitter.