Aging with Grace: Happiness and Empower are Always a Choice
Maturing is for the courageous and lighthearted.
To age with wholesomeness and health, we need to be scrupulous about laughing, loving, exercising, healthy eating, and being mentally stimulated.
Introduction
Never before has there been a time where someone living in their sixties could be considered middle aged. The advances in medicine, psychology, and spirituality have been so phenomenal that it is now realistic to not only stop the aging process, but also to reverse it. The elderly are no longer fitting past stereotypes; we are seeing more and more vigorous people in their later stages of life. They are not asking to be accepted into society, they are taking their place in whatever capacity works for them. We are seeing this in past country presidents who are becoming leaders in philanthropy, stamping their approval on as many meaningful causes as possible.
Meaningful Work and Philanthropy Are Good Choices
I had an interesting experience seven years ago when travelling to Provence with several women friends. As well as being highly capable and successful, they were all doctors. We ranged in age from late forties to late fifties. One evening while sipping on French wine and nibbling on delicious cheeses, we came to the topic of our parents. What was unique was that all of our parents were alive and fully functioning. Also, all of our fathers were still working in their areas of expertise, from my own father being a farmer in rural Manitoba, Canada, to others who were medical doctors and CEO’s. The thing they all had in common was that none of them needed to work for money.
We were reflecting on how these men had found balance in their lives. From checking a wheat field, to checking real estate investments, they all created time to both follow their passions, and take care of their bodies by having a nap. They carved out their days to fit their interests; our parents were all very satisfied with their lives. Our mothers enjoyed having time at home to themselves, and the freedom to attend to their passions and work, while their husbands worked and pursued their passions. In addition to working, they would also do Volunteer work. My mother at 87 years of age still delivers food to a seniors’ home twice a week with Meals on Wheels. Everyone can achieve this balance of activities that serve both you and your communities needs. Living with grace and empowerment comes by choosing activities that are meaningful to you.
Meaningful Work Brings Value to Your Life
When work is meaningful to you, it can be an excellent idea to work for the rest of your life. Whether you are collecting a pay check, or a volunteer’s jacket, the key is to do work that brings value to both you and others. Choosing to volunteer for a cause you believe in can bring a great sense of empowerment and value into your life.
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A House Does Not Make a Home; an Open Heart Makes a Home
A significant factor in living with grace as we age is to choose housing which liberates us. Often downsizing to a smaller home can feel very exciting and sad. There are many memories that are being left behind, and it is a symbol of entering a new stage in life. It is important to remember that the size of your living environment is not as important as the quality of life you experience in it. Unfortunately, many elderly people move out of their homes and downsize because they are either ‘encouraged’ to do so, or because of life circumstances which make it impossible to remain in their home. When this happens it can be quite disheartening. Keep evaluating your situation and understand that you may not always be able to choose where you will live, but you always have a choice as to how you will live. Live with intention to make the best from whatever life serves you.
Living Joyously Is Always a Choice
Living in a frame of happiness and satisfaction is always a choice. You need to be diligent in taking care of your needs, just as if you were an infant. Needs come before everything else. If you wish to live a long, joyful and vigorous life, then you need to be ruthless in taking care of your body, mind, and soul. Pay attention to both what brings you zest and energy as well as what disempowers you. Become curious, and like a social scientist find out what it is that you need. Take care of your needs as best as you and your support system can.
Be Kind in Your Judgments
Be kind to yourself and others and don’t be too quick to judge, there is always a valid reason for the way you and others behave. I remember a number of years ago when I was very ill, yet I did not consciously know it. I was often tired, and some of my friends criticized me for never wanting to stay out late. Now six years later, I have more vim and vigor than most people in their twenties. Be compassionate with your needs, and understand that happiness is a choice even in the depths of sorrow, pain and fear.
Be Community Oriented
Aging well is not for the faint hearted. It is a time of many non-choice transitions. Many of us are becoming less financially secure, friends and family members have died, and children are busy with their own lives. Because we are social animals it is important to be in dynamic communities as we age. We need to be fully living our passions, participating in whatever brings us bliss. We need to take full responsibility for our lives, and continue to bring value to whoever we are with. It is important to be continually learning and starting new projects.
Many know the story of Colonel Harland Sanders who started Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food restaurant at age 65. The famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright wanted to move his school because the encroaching city had placed telephone wires in front of it, thus disturbing his sight lines. His wife had to remind him that he was in his eighties and was too old to move the school. As we age there are so many decisions which are made for us, because of this it is important to be making as many choices as possible whenever you can.
Bring Beautiful Rituals to the Ordinary
I have wonderful neighbors who are in their eighties. The gentleman has trouble walking and refuses to use a wheelchair, which would in some ways, support him to be more mobile. However, this is his choice. He and his wife cook together, and every night they make an elaborate ritual of their meal. The table is always set with their best china and crystal. Candles are lit; silver cutleries as well as cloth napkins are used. Music is in the background playing. They craft each evening into being a culinary and aesthetic delight. The dining room walls are decorated from years gone by with posters from different theaters in Paris. The presentation and care that goes into creating their dinners is always sensuous.
Choose to be Youthful
Being physically active is important for both our health and well-being. Exercise circulates your blood, and massages your organs, keeping you in prime condition. If you are unable to undertake strenuous exercises, wiggling and stretching are an excellent alternative. It is also important to remember that sensuality and sexuality are enlivened by being physically active.
Being sensuous only requires for you to be present with taste, smell, sight, touch, and sound. It is paying attention to these parts of you that keeps life juicy. It is important to be sensuous and youthful in your presentation, just because your body is aging does not mean other parts of your life need to be aging. Choose to be youthful, and the youth will choose you!
Choose Love and Laughter
As we are aging it is essential to choose to enjoy the world around us no matter what, and to understand that we have a lot of value to give, and laughter to share. As you lovingly receive the world around you, absorb how this same world is lovingly receiving you! We all need each other.
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