Letter to a spammer

Hello Mr Spam and Scam,

How are you today?  I just thought I'd drop you a line and see how you are doing.  I'm sure you are very busy making the rounds of the various networks you are a part of diligently spreading your thoughtless mindless zombie-like Gooroo Marketing techniques so I'll be brief.

I just noticed that after all the time you have been on my friends list you have decided to honor me with ...an ad.  A nice cut and paste Gooroo conceived ad at that!  Thank you so much for for the effort!  I hope you did not hurt yourself after all it must have taken all of five seconds to do the copy and paste thing and of course you bravely risked breaking a finger nail when you hit the submit button!

By the way did I mention that in all the time you have been around the network, You have been diligent on posting those ads, a real trooper!  You have miraculously managed to avoid ever actually posting anything of worth while still posting your ads everywhere.  Your willpower is amazing!  It's hard to believe that nothing has managed to interest you enough to get an actual comment.  That's what I call steel reserve!

I guess I should really take a lesson from you in following the Gooroo system.  You see i just can't help it.  There are so many interesting posts and people; well I just get sidetracked into commenting, and interacting with other people.  I know a filthy habit that, these folks might just actually want to be my friend! Now there's a frightening thought.  Lucky you, no chance of that happening now is there!

And then there's my other major problem, you know posting stuff that has nothing whatsoever to do with advertising just because I thought it was interesting or informative. I know a major headache for you since I'm not the only one who does it.  Us poor misguided folks who are not gooroo brain-washed just keep posting this non advertising stuff and pushing your spam ads right off the page!  And not only that we don't even take the time to read your ads!  How dare we, right?  We just seem drawn to the interesting stuff.

Now while I'm at it did you send that ad to some of my friends too?  You may want to avoid sending it to a few of them, they really hate getting ads from people they don't know.  I know rather unreasonable of them isn't it.  I mean everyone should welcome another cookie cutter ad!  Wait I just got an idea and I have to run.  I really need to post this before I forget I just know my friends are going to love this post!.  I'm so sorry but that last ad you posted will be bumped.  No problem, I'm sure you've got another one just waiting for the cut and paste treatment.  

Sincerely,

Friendly networker.