Why Divorce?

Most people go to marriage counseling to save their marriages. I think people should also go to "divorce counseling" as a family once they decide their marriage is over, especially if kids are in the picture. I have seen regrettable behavior patterns in many parents which are detrimental to kids to grow up to be well-adjusted individuals. Under the superficial friendliness, I have seen many couples:

- competing for kids’ affection by over-indulgence
- over-compensating their kids for the divorce
- either overtly or subtly turning their kids against their exes out of their own bitterness
- using their kids unscrupulously to sabotage their exes and new partners

As a result, kids become manipulative, self-centered, problematic, and lose their respects for both parents. Once divorced, couples need some tools to deal with their new situation. Whether they admit it or not, they need to deal with:

- loneliness
- jealousy towards their exes’ happiness with their new partners
- guilt about the divorce and its effect on their children
- bitterness towards their exes for the divorce
- difficulty to juggle work, household duties, and kids as a single parent with reduced income
- the temptation to use their kids to destroy their exes’ happiness

 I wonder what divorce couples should do to control these basal instincts and do what is best for their kids, Parents never realize that how divorce affects kids.

 

Any thoughts?