Military missteps(The chicken has arrived)
I'm an Army brat. I guess it was destiny that I would end up in the Army too! I joined right out of high school and for all of the seriousness of the military, there are some major funny moments too! You'll understand what I mean as I share one of the better moments.
My job field was Combat Medic. Yes they do train females to be front line medics. Technically we won't be in combat because we won't be on the front lines. We will however be assigned to forward support positions. This led to my assignment to Ft Lewis, in Tacoma Washington. I was a member of the 3rd Forward Support Battalion, 2nd Brigade of the 9th Infantry Division.
This was a peacetime assignment which consisted of a month of make work on post followed by 30 - 45 days in the field in a never ending cycle. It was field duty that spawned the majority of comic moments.
We spent so much time in the field that a local farmer took pity on us having to eat those C-Rations and boxed food for days at a time. He offered to supply us with fresh chicken for dinner one evening and the brass took him up on his offer. The farmer made good on his promise of fresh chicken. A bit too fresh since it was still clucking, but that was a minor technicality. What followed the arrival of this fowl was a three ring circus!
First of all most of my fellow soldiers had never seen a real live chicken before and were at a loss as to how this feathered creature could be the same thing in Col Sanders Bucket. Our fearless leaders immediately began looking for anyone who had experience with killing chickens. After going through almost 200 soldiers they had a grand total of six of us who had in some way been involved in turning a live yard bird into Sunday dinner. (I grew up in the country, Saturdays were chicken plucking days for me)
In preparation of the mass chicken slaughter about to begin, 3 people grabbed axes, myself and another medic from Macon GA started firing up the immersion heaters to get water going for the "pluck fest" to follow the slaughter. One good old boy from Tennessee began to brag loudly on how his grandmother would wring a chicken"s neck. Grandma did not pass the trick on to him. Let's just say, never swing a chicken around by the neck in a large circle. All it accomplishes is to scare the crap out of the poor chicken. And never ever ever do it with your Sgt Major standing in front of you.
My job field was Combat Medic. Yes they do train females to be front line medics. Technically we won't be in combat because we won't be on the front lines. We will however be assigned to forward support positions. This led to my assignment to Ft Lewis, in Tacoma Washington. I was a member of the 3rd Forward Support Battalion, 2nd Brigade of the 9th Infantry Division.
This was a peacetime assignment which consisted of a month of make work on post followed by 30 - 45 days in the field in a never ending cycle. It was field duty that spawned the majority of comic moments.
We spent so much time in the field that a local farmer took pity on us having to eat those C-Rations and boxed food for days at a time. He offered to supply us with fresh chicken for dinner one evening and the brass took him up on his offer. The farmer made good on his promise of fresh chicken. A bit too fresh since it was still clucking, but that was a minor technicality. What followed the arrival of this fowl was a three ring circus!
First of all most of my fellow soldiers had never seen a real live chicken before and were at a loss as to how this feathered creature could be the same thing in Col Sanders Bucket. Our fearless leaders immediately began looking for anyone who had experience with killing chickens. After going through almost 200 soldiers they had a grand total of six of us who had in some way been involved in turning a live yard bird into Sunday dinner. (I grew up in the country, Saturdays were chicken plucking days for me)
In preparation of the mass chicken slaughter about to begin, 3 people grabbed axes, myself and another medic from Macon GA started firing up the immersion heaters to get water going for the "pluck fest" to follow the slaughter. One good old boy from Tennessee began to brag loudly on how his grandmother would wring a chicken"s neck. Grandma did not pass the trick on to him. Let's just say, never swing a chicken around by the neck in a large circle. All it accomplishes is to scare the crap out of the poor chicken. And never ever ever do it with your Sgt Major standing in front of you.
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Comments (23)
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Actually the nearest bush! It was hilarious.
Dawie Bezuidenhout11
Systems Engineer I.T.
Thanks Cheryl, you made my day or should i say morning. Grown up on a farm myself, luckily my Granparents showed me the right way of doing this.
I think some of the troops must have made a quick turn at the loo from all that laughter.
Great one.
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
You should have seen these soldiers chasing the headless chickens!
Rebecca Beasley8
Consultant, Web Designer, Script Set Up
HAHA yeah but the gung ho new recruits probably would have done it anyway. Just imagine what a grenade launcher would do to the thing. LOL
Wendy have you ever chopped their head off and set them on their feet? I know it sounds cruel but they are really some die hard birds. And if you've ever seen the old cartoons about the chickens dieing and doing a dramatic little dance and then falling down, that's about how they are. So dramatic. It makes me feel guilty about eating chicken. Maybe I'll ju
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Well, that was all we had to eat that night. I'm sure someone probably thought about it but while an M-16 makes a tiny entrance wound, the exit wound would have pretty much disintegrated to poor bird!
Rebecca Beasley8
Consultant, Web Designer, Script Set Up
I'm surprised they didn't use their m16s on it.
Rebecca Beasley8
Consultant, Web Designer, Script Set Up
That was a great story Cheryl.
My great grandmother use to be able to snap a chicken's neck with just one swing. But she also never passed on how she did it, so my grandmother tried after my great-grandma passed away and the poor chickens neck stretched like a swan and she just gave up and put it down. It was still walking around, poor thing, (as they will sometimes do even after the head is cut off), and it's head was just hanging down and it was walking in a circle like it didn't know where
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
It was hilarious. Luckily he had enough of a sense of humor not to get too bent out of shape at the troops having a good laugh. He even had to chuckle himself. It was the Colonel who got bent out of shape about it.
Jean DAndrea7
Retired
Poor chickens! Would have loved to have seen the Sgt.Major's face,
when struck by flying chickypoo. ROFL
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
I've added this one and the snake. I guess the next one will be how to kill a coon with a rifle cleaning kit!
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Yes I did my three year stint then got out. But I must admit to some pretty funny times.
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
I laughed when they were looking for volunteers too. I still remember having this mental flash of all these guys trying to get these chickens to roost on hand grenades.
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
I figured somebody would get my joke! :) LOL! :)
Cheryl, My client and I were having fits of laughter about this blog today... The thought of these army- trained soldiers not knowing how to kill a damn chicken just floors me! LOL! :)
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Old Macdonald was generous but not that generous. All the leftover chickens went back to the farm.
Theresa6
mmmm chicken - yep.Fresh is best...unless it's all over you ROFLOL!!
Did ya keep any for the eggs ?
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
You are right Jeff. Fresh is always better than supermarket mass produced offerings!
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
The funniest part of the whole thing was seeing the Sgt Major standing there covered in chicken poop. I guess the second funniest part was seeing the guy from Tennessee pulling double guard duty for a week!
Wendy7
"Lycanthropia" is the study of werewolves.
ROFLMAO
I like fresh kill too but only if it is cooked LOL
Wendy
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
I have learned how to kill all kinds of food as part of my early training in Life, and I became even better at it after a serious bout with Lycanthropia! LOL! :)
I still insist that freshly killed food is much better than the supermaret stuff! :)
Wendy7
ROFLMAO
Now that is some funny Hahahahaha
That poor guy had a hold of the wrong end of the chicken LOL
Suppose to grab them by the feet and swing them around in a circle bout 10 times. Makes them super dizzy and their poor little necks stick a mile. Opportune time to lop their heads off
Yes I have cleaned a few chickens in my day. Also loaded transport trucks with them as well
Love it
Wendy