Arthur Webster   Just plain honesty
I have been feeling partiicularly mortal just recently - the old bod is slowly decaying even though I ain't dead yet - and it got me to thinking about something I wrote a little while ago.

Our lives are full of valuable memories that will stay with us forever.

Those first wails as our babies each announced "I'm here!"

The sleepless nights as the first teeth were cut.

The joy and excitement of those first steps - Oh. How proud we were!

Those first days at scool. Our babies were growing up and were out, alone, in the big world we had protected them from.

The first school plays. Boy. Did we clap our hands raw!

And sports days! We wanted to see our babies grow fast and to win - but more than that - we wanted to be there to share their triumphs or pains (It is a hard lesson, sometimes, to teach your babies that they aren't always going to be first.).

The first sweetheart! Oh. The agonising. Were they good enough for our babies?

And, when they were sweethearts no more, didn't we feel their pain like it was our own?

Then they left school. How we wanted to help but we knew that here, at last, was a time when we possibly did not know best. Our babies had to make their own choices and we had to support them whether we felt they were right or wrong.

Like a safety net, though, we were always there.

Then, no matter what our inner-most feelings, our babies grew up. Each met "the one" and married or settled down.

Now we were becoming used to the back seat but we were happy to be there because advice and comfort from the back seat can make all the difference in a crisis. It is also good for our babies to have someone to shout at when things really get on top of them.

Grand children! Our babies have babies of their own and we see again the joys and anguish of parent-hood, but from a different perspective.

We were there. In the back ground. The invisible anchor.

We enter our Autumn years and bask in the glow of the memories of a full life and the love of our babies and our grand-children.

We are so very happy!

And then we betray them!

We vanish! We are no longer there to offer a firm shoulder to cry on and help when they need it most.

Our final act on this Earth is to desert them and leave them to pick up the pieces.

We don't mean to.

It would destroy us if we came back and saw the damage we had done because we forgot to do the one thing that could have finally showed our undying love and concern for their happiness.

We might not be there in body but our spirit can live on in what we can do as our parting gift for our babies. We can ensure that we make provision while we are here to alleviate the pain of our parting and ease the tragic burden that our babies will inherit - because they neither need nor deserve it.

In this way, the cycle of love is completed and as much pain and sorrow as possible will have been avoided.

Because we love our children.   
Mar 19th 2008 17:24