Quality Content Writers Group
'Tis The Season To Be Jolly !
by Jean DAndrea Retired
Jean DAndrea 
Retired
Disclaimer : This is entirely fictional, and does not represent my family or
friends in any way whatsoever.
Yes, it's that time of the year again, when parties happen every day,
invitations come thick and fast, everyone is in a holiday mood.......
No, that's not right! Whoever said that hasn't been around a typical
Christmas family get-together.
Before we go:
"No, Mum, I don't wanna go! Aunty Joyce will slobber all over me like she
did last year"
"Do we hafta go? Granpa drools and he smells!"
"AAWWWW, no, Dad, can't I stay home - it's boring, going to Uncle Bill's"
And of course, when we're altogether, after lunch, the women gather in the kitchen:
"Did you see Judy's new boyfriend? Where does she find them? And just
look at the clothes he's wearing!"
"I know, and wasn't the lunch awful? Whatever made Glenda think she
could cook - I'll have indigestion for days."
"Darling, what a beautiful dress!" (What on earth made her think she could
wear that shade of pink?)
"Typical men, out there drinking while we clean up the mess"
"Have some champagne" "Oh, don't mind if I do, just a small one."
"More champagne?" "Well, I shouldn't, oh alright, another won't hurt
a bit - just a drop, mind"
Meanwhile over in the garden shed, the menfolk gather:
"Here Mate, wrap yourself around that beer".
"Thanks"
Whiskey? Gin? Bourbon?
(Repeated many times during the afternoon, more and more slurred as the
day wears on.)
Time to go home:
"You drive, Ken, I've had a couple of glasses of wine"
"Me, I'm p....d, you stupid woman, you were supposed to drive."
"Good afternoon, sir. Have you been drinking today?
Blow into this until I tell you to stop.".........................
"Just step over to the bus, please sir"
Dec 9th 2007 21:12
RetiredDisclaimer : This is entirely fictional, and does not represent my family or
friends in any way whatsoever.
Yes, it's that time of the year again, when parties happen every day,
invitations come thick and fast, everyone is in a holiday mood.......
No, that's not right! Whoever said that hasn't been around a typical
Christmas family get-together.
Before we go:
"No, Mum, I don't wanna go! Aunty Joyce will slobber all over me like she
did last year"
"Do we hafta go? Granpa drools and he smells!"
"AAWWWW, no, Dad, can't I stay home - it's boring, going to Uncle Bill's"
And of course, when we're altogether, after lunch, the women gather in the kitchen:
"Did you see Judy's new boyfriend? Where does she find them? And just
look at the clothes he's wearing!"
"I know, and wasn't the lunch awful? Whatever made Glenda think she
could cook - I'll have indigestion for days."
"Darling, what a beautiful dress!" (What on earth made her think she could
wear that shade of pink?)
"Typical men, out there drinking while we clean up the mess"
"Have some champagne" "Oh, don't mind if I do, just a small one."
"More champagne?" "Well, I shouldn't, oh alright, another won't hurt
a bit - just a drop, mind"
Meanwhile over in the garden shed, the menfolk gather:
"Here Mate, wrap yourself around that beer".
"Thanks"
Whiskey? Gin? Bourbon?
(Repeated many times during the afternoon, more and more slurred as the
day wears on.)
Time to go home:
"You drive, Ken, I've had a couple of glasses of wine"
"Me, I'm p....d, you stupid woman, you were supposed to drive."
"Good afternoon, sir. Have you been drinking today?
Blow into this until I tell you to stop.".........................
"Just step over to the bus, please sir"
Dec 9th 2007 21:12
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Comments
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Mike Hunt
 Christmas time for me as a kid was pretty cool, we spent most of the 6 weeks of school holidays down at our beach house ... ahhhh the lazy days of summer in Australia surely can`t be beat! Walking along the cliffs finding oysters, eating them raw or if Dad and I found enough, we`d start a little fire and throw them on in the shell .... yummo. Christmas Day down there was special, maybe it`s because I was so young that I think that, just another day to me now. (though I still make it special for my special girl ... my Daughter Emma-Leigh ... ; ) I`ve never had a white Christmas, somehow it seems strange actually seeing Santa at the shopping centres ect ... a Big Fatman with a Big Beard in a Santa Suit in SUMMER?!! (they always look so flustered and on the verge of collapse ... lol) We should have an Aussie Santa with a pair of stubbies on (shorts), the good ol` blue singlet (hoges favourite ... ; ) and naturally ... thongs. (no ... not the skimpy underpants ... ewwww!!) Don`t know about handing out free beer to the kids though ... : \ Christopher J. P.S. Or perhaps a Ned Kelly Santa ... ; ) Dec 10th 2007 03:03 |
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Jean DAndrea
RetiredHow about an Aboriginal Santa with Kangaroos? My Christmases as a child were great too - they were sometimes white, as I lived in the UK then. Not really like the story above, which is sort of a humerous, cynical look at family gatherings. :-) Thongs (the clothing type!) are too uncomfortable! :-) Wedgies........ Dec 10th 2007 14:13 |
Thanks for the joy of knowing Christmas is the same where ever you go.
Dec 9th 2007 21:52