Giving up=CONTROL

Letting go= FEAR

Making miracles= FAITH 

I haven't written in a few days.  I am getting things together for my daughter's 5th birthday party.  A miracle right there.  June 16th 2005 I found her in my parents pool (and yes had to revive her).  I cringe when people place blames on the parents when accidents like this happen...but what ever.  My baby girl is here, and it was an accident.  It only takes a minute...and she proved to me that one! 

Wow!  And she is my baby. 

I became a mother at a very young age.  I highly don't recommend it to anyone...but then again...it really isn't all that bad.  Sure, my kids could have grown up with out a lot of heart ache...or watching my heart ache.  But what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.  And boy are we strong!

I am blessed to have such a wonderful relationship with my kids.  I know every parent wants to brag about their kids....but I really have a bond with mine.  When I was 22, I had to change over custody of my boys to their father.  I am not going to get into why, but it was not because I didn't want my kids, nor was it because I was a bad mother.  They were not taken from me, I just decided to make that choice for the better of my children.  It was such a hard choice, but looking back it was the best thing I could of ever done for them and me!  

The judge (yes he was in Houston County), was quite rude and hateful to me about this choice.  Maybe he thought I was doing it only for my benefit...just to go run wild and forget about my kids.  Which was in no way the case.  And 8 yrs later I have proven that.  Not to him, but to my kids.  Mommy always has been and will be there for them.  

Sure, during all of this time I still made 'bad choices'..and still really was lost in what exactly I wanted to do with my life.  I don't make excuses for it, only just I was lost.  I knew there was a better way, I just didn't know how to get there.  

We all make choices in life.  Sometimes the choices that we make, may seem bad at the time.  But as with me, I really listened to my heart and did what was right.  And 8 yrs later it has proven to be the best choice I could of ever made!

 When I had my little girl, I fought myself with the battle that my two boys would resent her.  Because she was with me all the time, and they are not.  

Well 5 years, and that has never been any battle to have to fight.  When we really give up our ego's and let things just happen, it is quite amazing how things work out.  And for the best!

See, this was a spiritual journey that I was on..and didn't even realize it at that time.  But I did know one thing!  I was sick and tired of being sick and tired!   Even with that being said, I still allowed myself to fall deeper into my own traps..but thank goodness I knew there was a way out and NOTHING is absolute! 

Never give up on your dreams and aspirations, but also....don't force them into action.

  MAKING things happen, and controlling the outcome is what forces us into the darkness.

If we just know what we want, and seperate ourselves from how it is going to happen...this is how MIRACLES happen.  

They are happening all around me.  

I love my life and my life loves me!  

Your life loves you too......love it back, no matter 'how' bad it seems!  Miracles will happen.  Trust, believe, have faith...it will happen.  Just stop fighting it. 

Much Love,

Nomorehackers