Tips on Helping Children through a Divorce Pt. 1

A previous article discussed how studies have shown that the children of divorce are found to suffer a sense of loss and such feelings can be manifest in many different ways depending on the ages and unique personalities of the children as well as how parents handle the divorce. Recent research has shown that even adult children of divorce are affected by the divorce of their parents. Such effects of a divorce are manifest by higher divorce rates on the part of adult children of divorce. Further, it has been noted that those who remain married report that they have less trust for their spouses as compared to adult children whose parents have remained married. This article will discuss other ways in which to ease the pain of divorce for your children despite their age.
 
As noted in the previous article the most important manner in which parents can help their children during a divorce is by having a cooperative relationship and keeping conflict to a minimum. Further, it is important to provide children with the assurance that they need as well as parents manifesting a level of maturity. Some of the following tips can be used when dealing with a divorce with children:
 

• Do not badmouth your ex - while you may have large amounts of bitterness toward your ex-spouse it is important that you do not express it toward your children. Further, it is important that you in no way imply that your former spouse is not a good parent or that your children are wrong in wanting to have a relationship with him or her. Research has shown that children require the presence of both parents in their lives in order for them to create stable relationships in the future. Therefore, it is best to continue to support and foster the relationship of your children and the other parent in any way possible so that your children can be free of guilt and uncertainty.

 

• Establishing new traditions - it is important to bear in mind that a divorce creates a sense of loss in a child whether young or old. The sense of loss may be especially felt around holidays and special times. Many adult children become angry or confused about losing family rituals even if they previously did not enjoy them. Therefore, one way of curbing that sense of loss is to establish new traditions especially during holidays and celebrations for special events. Look for fun activities that can help relieve stress and encourage building or rebuilding relationships. However, it is necessary to be sensitive about incorporating new individuals into the family setting.

 

• Spot the signs - it is important to realize that divorce is a stressful period for children of any age. Even if your child has always had a positive spin on things it is important that you keep an eye out for any rough patches that may come their way. Further, arrange for counseling or encourage a child to seek help where you see serious signs of emotional fragility.

 
For advice on handling your divorce seek out a divorce lawyer in Toronto.
 
For a simple divorce in Ontario, the author recommends the Bluetown Law Firm. 
 

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