Some Steps to Help You Prevent Losing Temper with your Childby David Oscar Professional Academic Writer
Are you one of those parents who struggle from temper tantrums at home? If yes, you must be aware of what they consist of: using bad language, screaming, and yelling.
As a parent, at one point or another, you must have experience temper tantrums while raising kids.
Most of the times these tantrums come out of you when you are trying to fight the homework battle.
It is very important to stay in control.
Children are infamous for bringing out the best from you as parents. Sometimes, you might feel that you are the better persons only because of them. You may be more honest, forgiving, kind, and caring.
On the other hand, sometimes your children might bring the worst out of you. You might feel exhausted, overworked, anxious, and over-stressed.
Losing temper is a fact of life and is very normal. But, with the help of some solutions you can stay calm and can recapture control.
Take a look at the following steps and you will notice a change in your attitude in a little while.
1. Try to identify your triggers
The first step that you need to take is to identify why you lose your temper. Just like, it is important to recognize what things set your children off, in the same way, it is essential to understand your triggers. If you are a mother of a middle child who is a teenager and if your child is not able to control his impulses, the only thing that triggers you is his bad attitude. When he is back talking to you, you need to take a step back and then start focusing on how you are feeling at the moment. Stop your tongue rolling off in response. Stop yourself. Identify what irritates you the most. After that, you will reach a path that will stop your temper from boiling over.
2. Identify new ways of communication
Most parents feel the worst about how they talked to their children. Most of the times, parents tend to fall into bad communication habits.
Bad communication habits may include:
· Giving silent treatment to kids
· Withdrawing from the family
· Giving severe punishments
· Passing sarcastic remarks
· Swearing and name calling
If you have a toddler screaming at you or a teenager getting in your face, it is very easy to fall into this situation. But, at the same time it is important for you to remember that you are dealing with your anger. This is not to say that you cannot express your irritation, frustration, anger or disappointment. It is essential for your kids to know that you are not feeling happy. The only thing that you have to do is to find the suitable ways to express your feelings.
3. Stay calm while communicating
Healthy communication depends on the calmness of you and your child. If your child is raging at you, stay away from him. Do not approach your child if you are feeling angry to talk. Keeping your comments to the point and short could help you a lot.
4. Pick your battles
Most of the times, a child’s tantrums are born out of his parents feeling irritated or overwhelmed. It is highly recommended to avoid putting yourself in such a position that you feel constantly overwhelmed. There is no need to get upset over every little thing that your kid does. You can fight this by thinking hard about what exactly is essential to impose and what you can let go off when it comes to your child.
If your kid is younger, there are numerous daily behaviors that can be irritating. At this age, children are disorganized, they cry very easily, they suffer breakdowns, and at times they can be grumpy.
When it comes to middle school or high-school going children, they are messy, short-tempered, moody, irresponsible, and immature.
In all the cases, what you have to do is to identify the values of your family and then see what to tackle and how to tackle.
Is it essential that your child is respectful, or he completes chores and has a clean room? If yes, then make him understand what your expectations are the rest will be rolling off your back automatically.
5. If you feel that you are wrong, apologize
If your child admits that he has done something wrong and apologizes for the same, then it is the greatest gift that you have given to your child. There are some parents, who struggle with this because they are of the perception that by doing so, they are giving up their power. Ask yourself what exactly you want your child to learn about grown-up relationships. It is imperative to teach your child about the significance of an apology. If as a parent, you are admitting your mistakes and offering an apology, there is nothing more powerful than that. If you are modelling this kind of humility, your child will understand that we all are human beings and even parents can sometimes make mistakes.
6. Look for some support
Choose some reliable and trusted family members or friends who you think can support you in your years of parenting. Finding parents who are like-minded and who you feel safe confessing in when you are feeling guilty could help you to a great extent. It is very important to nurture these kind of relationships. This way, you will have a sounding board when you feel that you are at your wits end. Make sure that you don’t reveal your bad parenting moments to those family members or parents who you think are judgmental or express disappointment at your quick break in parenting judgement. You will only feel worse in the presence of such people and it will only suck the energy out of you.
7. Try to be kind to yourself
Last but not the least, be kind to yourself and practice self-care. As compare to any other group of persons, parents are harder on themselves. The reason is intense care and love for their children. They want to give their children everything right at all the time. You cannot become a perfect parent all the time. If you are getting through a day by being a good enough parent, consider yourself lucky. If you are getting frustrated only because your child is facing some problems with his homework and always procrastinate it, then take assistance of an online .
Created on Dec 7th 2018 23:40. Viewed 493 times.