Separation Anxiety: How to Help Your Child Deal with It Better?

by Emily Scott Emily Scott

Separation anxiety is a natural feeling for young children to experience when they have to say goodbye to their parents. When your child is young, they may cry, throw tantrums, and cling close to you — all these are normal reactions. However, separation anxiety’s intensity level and timing tend to vary from child to child.

Even though separation anxiety is part of the developmental stage, it still cannot be left unchecked. As a parent, you need to practice patience and stay consistent while setting limits to ease their separation anxiety, helping them deal with it better. Today, we will discuss two types of separation anxiety — normal separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder and how to deal with each one.

Normal Separation Anxiety

As discussed earlier, every child at some stage in their life experiences normal separation anxiety. You need to help your child deal with the idea of separation from you for a few hours better by doing the following:

1. Leave Your Child with Someone for Small Durations

To get your child used to the concept of you being away from them, leave them with a close relative or friend for a brief duration and short distances. For instance, exit the room to go to another room or go outside the house for a few hours. Tell your child that you will be going out but will be back soon. Gradually, start to leave your child with a caregiver for longer and go further, such as going to the grocery store.

2. Do Not Leave Them When They Are Hungry or Tired

This is especially true for babies who may become cranky and cry if they are hungry or feeling tired and you are not there to tend to their needs. If you are leaving your baby in the care of someone else, ensure you feed them and give them a nap.

3. Always Say Goodbye the Same Way

If you need to leave for work each day or run a quick errand, ensure you always say goodbye to your child the same way. Keep your goodbyes short. This can be a quick flying kiss through the window or a big bear hug, for instance.

4. Say You Are Leaving and Then Go

Do not make the mistake of saying goodbye and then remain in the house for a few more minutes after that. Only say goodbye if you intend to leave right after it. Ensure you do not forget anything in the house, as returning to the house within minutes, may make it more difficult for your child to see you leave again so quickly after returning.

5. Return at the Promised Time

Your child will ask you when you will return home. If you give them a time, but do not return on the promised time, your child’s confidence in you will decrease. It will lead to distrust and worsen their separation anxiety.

Ensure to give them a specific time that you know you will be able to return. To prepare for any unexpected delay, always tell them a later time. For instance, instead of 5:00 PM, tell them 5:30 PM. If you come home earlier, at least you would have kept your promise.

6. Have the Same Babysitter

Your child will get used to being in the care of the same babysitter each day when you leave. If you hire a babysitter to watch your child in your absence, hire them for the long term.

Separation Anxiety Disorder

Separation anxiety disorder is a grave emotional problem caused by extreme stress due to the child being separated from their parent. The primary difference between the two is the level of intensity. If separation anxiety prevents your child from doing normal, day to day activities, your child may have separation anxiety disorder for which they may require counseling to deal with.

Other symptoms of separation anxiety include feeling agitated at the thought of them being away from you and may complain of being sick to avoid going to school and playing with their friends. Separation anxiety disorder is treatable. If your child displays the following signs, consider taking them in for counseling:

· A constant fear of something bad happening to you

· Worrying that an event will cause them to be separated from you forever

· Refusing to go to school

· Not wanting to sleep

· Complaining of feeling sick, such as a headache or stomachache before you have to leave them

· Clinging to your arm or leg if you attempt to leave the house or following you around the house

Separation anxiety disorder can be brought on by a change in environment, stress, an overprotective or helicopter parent, and insecure attachment. If your child displays one or more of these symptoms, get them the help they require to prevent it from getting worse.

About the Author

Mind Wellness Counseling uses evidence-based therapy to provide people with support and guidance in the Detroit area. They offer several different types of counseling services given by a trained, experienced, and certified counselor. This includes couples and individual counseling, mindfulness coaching, emotional freedom technique, mental fitness training, and EMDR therapy.