Self Esteem: Sign, Symptoms, Challenges & Its Development

by Anamika Saha Seo Expert

Self-esteem is the extent to which we feel confident, think ourselves valuable and respect ourselves. This however affects our well being to a great degree. Self esteem exists on continuum, from low to high and low self esteem is related with self doubt, social isolation, self-criticism, shame and suppressed anger. Low self esteem is even a symptom of many mental health conditions, inlcuding depression and anxiety.

Signs & symptoms

A very common feature of low self-esteem is negative self-talk. People having low self esteem consider themselves critically and can feel lack of accomplishment or sense of failure. This kind of feeling is perpetuated by comparing themselves constantly to others & criticizing themselves. The negative messages are hardly true but the thought patterns can be so ingrained in the behaviour of the person that she/he doesn't know the frequency with which they take place. Upon examination, people admit often that the negative messages are not correct and that they would never say these kinds of things to another person.

Low esteem is even closely related with the following experiences and conditions: social anxiety, codependency, general anxiety, depression, shame, inadequacy, sexual, physical or emotional abuse, powerlessness and perfectionism.

Challenges to self esteem

Basically, self esteem is learned during childhood days and a few experiences can interfere with its development like being subject to criticism or things like abuse from caretakers and parents. Sometimes it is also the missing out the experiences, which foster the sense of purpose and confidence, getting no or little positive reinforcement for accomplishments, being stigmatized for unusual behaviours or appearance, or for one's social identity, class, rate or having physical impairment or learning disability.

When growing adult, even a well-developed self esteem may be challenged by perceived failures or sudden life changes like changing jobs or losing a job, ending a close relationship, having financial or legal troubles, struggling with substance abuse or addiction, having children who are emotionally sick, health concerns or a host of many other events, which may allow us to question or value or worth. Counselling can put such events in a much better condition and enhance the strengths to increase the social support, resilience & hope.

How counselling helps develop self esteem?

Counselling sessions generally address issues such as low self esteem and help the people in gaining a stronger sense of self. People who have lower self esteem can work with therapists in being more confident, assertive and self aware. Finding sense of accomplishment in a big boost to the self esteem and counselling can help all people recognize the particular activities, which boost the competence and confidence. Moreover, a friendly counsellor in Bondi Junction always focuses on helping people to develop self-compassion so that they may develop more realistic and achievable goals for themselves as well as treat themselves with same encouragement and kindness they would provider others.