How To Decide If Divorce Mediation Is A Good Choice For You

by Robert F. Read My Articles, Learn More...

Divorce mediation often results in a successful resolution of all terms of a divorce without the time and expense of a courtroom trial. A peaceful resolution sounds good to many spouses but it isn’t the right choice for every situation. The circumstances leading up to the decision to divorce and the issues that have to be worked out play a large role in the potential for a successful mediation process. Mediator David M. Moore explains that the mediation process relies on teamwork between opposing parties without the confrontation that is too often a part of divorce proceedings. Answer the questions below to determine if you are prepared to use the mediation process in the way it was intended.

Are both of you in agreement about getting a divorce?

When one spouse wants a divorce and the other does not, it is more likely to be a confrontational situation than one of respect and peace. If one party or the other is still feeling hurt and angry over the other spouse’s decision to end their marriage, mediation can be difficult or even impossible. If you or your spouse disagrees with the divorce, you may not be successful at mediation. However, if this turns out to be the case, you can still proceed with the litigation process.

Are you ready to move ahead to the future?

One of the advantages of mediation is that it takes much less time than litigation. For couples who are ready to bring their marriage to a peaceful end and move on with their lives, divorce mediation is typically the best recourse. Some divorces may be settled in a matter of hours or, at the most, three or four hearings that are no more than a few hours long.

Many people don’t realize that when they hire a lawyer to represent them in a divorce, the lawyer is going to come out ahead. Without carefully researching an attorney to determine whether they are combative in court or they prefer to take a more peaceful approach to divorce, they may end up spending months in the courtroom fighting out a divorce and focusing on issues that they could easily resolve on their own. The wrong lawyer could drag their feet on a number of issues just to make sure the hours pile up and their paycheck grows.

Do you have $15,000 to spare?

Many people are blind sighted when they get the bill for their divorce. Many attorneys work on contingency, requiring no money upfront. Once the case is settled, they will either bill you for the time spent or take a percentage of your settlement. Considering the average hourly rate for a divorce attorney is $250, the cost can add up quickly. Most people end up paying more than $15,000 for their divorce with nearly $13,000 of that number being for attorney’s fees.

Divorce mediation is much more affordable and usually costs a flat fee for the process. Even when the mediator charges an hourly rate, the shorter duration of the process will make it thousands of dollars less than litigation. At a time when finances are already a big concern for many couples, the option to work out their differences with a much smaller deficit to their savings makes divorce mediation a far better choice.

Are there minor children involved?

When spouses divorce, they go forward with a future that usually doesn’t include the other spouse. When there are minor children involved, the couple will continue to be parents. Although courts attempt to lean in favor of the children, it is difficult to know and understand any unique circumstances that might have an impact on the best choices for the children. Issues like custody, visitation and child support, should not be left to the law alone.

The mediation process will allow you to consider the best interests of your children and work out a resolution that will help keep them healthy and happy. It can also help you retain your position as parents and give you a foundation to continue working together raising your children. If you leave it to a judge, there is no sure result that will be given and, once it has been ruled on, you are all stuck with the decision.

Are you worried you won’t get your “fair share” if you don’t go to court?

Many couples begin with the thought that they are on opposing sides and they will have to go after their soon-to-be-ex aggressively to protect their rights. This idea couldn’t be farther from the truth. Divorce mediation is your opportunity to sit down and discuss potential options for all of the issues within your divorce. You can discuss what is most important to you and look for areas of compromise that will make the outcome fair for both of you. You don’t have to agree to anything that you aren’t happy with. Only when both sides have come to an agreement will the resolution be signed and finalized.

Is your spouse resistant to mediation?

You may feel that your spouse will be resistant to the idea of mediation, probably because they don’t understand what it is or the advantages the process offers. Once they realize that their personal life won’t be displayed in the courtroom and that they will save time and money while having more control over the outcome, they will be a lot more likely to get on-board. Make sure they get the info they need, even if it has to come through a mutual friend or legal representative.

Do you understand what divorce mediation is?

Too often, well-meaning friends and family members are quick to share their opinions and experiences, giving you advice that might have been best in their case but not necessarily in your own. Nearly any divorce can be successfully negotiated through divorce mediation, even if there are some serious issues to resolve or there is a lot of wealth. Talk to a reputable mediator in your area about your case and find out if you are a good candidate for the process.

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Created on Dec 31st 1969 18:00. Viewed 0 times.

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