1. Accept that you you don't own the other person
2. Don't make it your job to remake your partner

Actually, those two problems are very closely linked.

Marriage and marriage-like relationships are obviously intense and intimate.
Physically, emotionally, financially and spirtually you are as one.

But you are not!

Both of you are still individuals no matter how much you love and care for
each other.

Unfortunately and far too often one or both spouse(s) will end up trying to
change the other.

What happenened to taking the person as they are?
This phenomenon of attempting to re-make and re-mold the other person
is most often attributed to the female spouse.

However, I have seen men do this too!

They marry and then start telling the woman all the things about her that
he finds needs tweaking.

Such as the amount of make up she wears, clothes or colours he does not
like, friends she should stop seeing, etc. 

Of course, as I have said; women very often do this to their men too!

It would apppear that these couples were only tolerating the other until
they received license to change them into what they really want.

But is that what marriage means?

I think not!

Why not seek out the right person to begin with.

Someone who respects and shares your values and world-view.

People do not change unless they want to, and criticizing a person
is not a motivating tool.

You do not own your partner; they have chosen to spend their life with
you based on the belief that you loved and accepted them as they are.
If that is discovered to be a lie and a deception on your part will have rined your marriage before it even began.

Make Your Marriage Good From The Start!