Would you rather he pay attention to you and forget a second later or not pay attention at all?

Of course him paying attention then forgetting is much better than not at all. What makes a relationship work between two people is the communication. His attempt at listening shows you that he's engaged and that your opinion matters. His inability to remember, even though just minutes before, gives you the chance to help while also feeling a sense of purpose. When we feel the love by helping, our love grows for them.

Loving someone completely is understanding them completely. How do you bridge the gap between how he thinks, decides and acts which is different than how you think, decide and act? Not understanding this difference can cost you your connection with him.

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If he doesn't pay attention

The answer is quite simple; he fails to see the relevancy. Although this answer appears cold, lacking the feeling and emotion the two of you have poured into the relationship, it's true and deserving to be explained at a deeper level.

He cares and feels overwhelmed

He loves you deeply and cares about what's important to you, but because he's caught-up in a notion that's consuming his thoughts; he'll immediately and instinctively weigh the priority between the two. His attention will automatically concentrate on what's pressing at the time and ignore everything else.

Once he has solved the problem, your question will immediately be addressed and dealt with. For him, prioritizing his thoughts is the first action required to handling issues without getting overwhelmed. Generally speaking, men are no good at multitasking when it comes to his thoughts. Focusing on one thing at a time is what he does best.

Please know that this has no reflection on how much he loves you and his need to make you happy. When you have his attention, you'll have 150% of it.

He cares and doesn't want to disappoint you

He is caught between focusing on a problem and how to solve it; while covertly disguising that there is no problem to begin with. You feel as though he is ignoring you by not listening when actually his avoidance is to your comment; not you. Paying attention to what you're saying may lead to divulging what he's hiding.

His plan is accepting your input only when the problem is recognized, solved and now considered old-news. What you don't know-won't hurt you.

He doesn't care

He is the sole source of support for the family. It doesn't matter what your question is or that he may be preoccupied with other thoughts; his opinion that dictates a lack of relevancy is based on you. Whatever you say will not warrant a response unless it's relevant to him.

In this case, he'll listen only if your contribution is encouraging or found supportive to what he is already thinking. Any decision and action taken will be solely his choice, all that time. You are only along for the ride.

This isn't to be confused with the dominate/subservient roles in the relationship. Here; love, support and respecting each other's wants and needs are the priority which is quite the opposite to not caring.