Type of relationships do children engage in ?

What type of relationships do children engage in?

Initially, it was assumed that the parent-child relationship had a greater impact on the child than that the child had with peers. Of course, the relationship shared with family members has a lot of influence on the behavior of the child, but so do peer relationships. This has been a topic on which lots of research is done, and it has been found that infants do share the same level intensity in relationships with peers as well. Contrary to popular belief, the relationship of your child to his or her three year old friend has a great effect on the psyche of your child.

Some children do have problem accepting peers or being accepted by them. Being left out at such an early age can have a negative effect on the child. It later manifests in the emotional and social maturity of the child. To fully understand why this has such a bad effect, it is essential to understand the development of peer relations at an early stage.

Children usually develop the ability to connect with peers when they meet a child of their age on a regular basis. For a toddler who goes to play school with the same set of people, it is easy to make friends with a few of those children. Some children form long lasting friendship with people they know since birth or meet in their early childhood.

An infant develops the ability to communicate through touching, babbling and smiling at others at the age of six months. By the second year, the infant develops a pattern in social behaviour. Some children are friendlier with people, while others are aggressive and prefer to be left alone, some more than the others.

What skills determine success of early peer relations?

It is important to know about how early peer relations affect the behavioural, cognitive, and emotional development of a child. It illustrates the ability of the child to interact with peers of the same age peacefully. The children learn to manage how to distribute attention between people, keep their emotions in control, suppress outburst, try to mirror the actions of others, and understand the cause and effect of decisions on a relationship. Any shortcomings in communication with adults are easily forgiven and usually remedied, but in a peer group, such things matter greatly. Children who have developmental disorders, or have problem distributing attention and imitation have a hard time in such environments.

How do children choose their peers?

In many different research projects, children were asked to name peers whom they like and disliked. This showed how some children seemed to be accepted, while others were either disliked or ignored by their peers. Acceptance of peers is an influential factor in a child’s life. It has been found that peer acceptance is determined by the child’s relationship with his parents, siblings and relatives, and how their family is supportive of their social lives. The most important factor that influences peer acceptance is the behaviour of the child. Highly aggressive children are usually not accepted by their peers. In other cases, shy children remain unaccepted.

Long term effects of early peer relations-

Peer relationships during early childhood usually predict how social the child will be with peers in their later childhood and teenage life. Children who were unaccepted by their peers at a young age will have difficulties in making friends later in life. Conditions at home, behaviour of the child and their skill development also plays a significant part in forming peer relationships in later childhood. Children who were not accepted in their peer group at an early stage face problems in the academic front. Psychologists say that having healthy relationship with peers in early childhood prevents development of psychological issues in later life.

 Prevention -

1)    Through stories, puppet shows, and picture books, try to teach the child social skills. By playing role-play games, let them practice the skills that they learn. The interaction skill can help them deal with situations where they have to apologize to someone, share their toys, or work as a team with other children.

2)    You should encourage your children to ask questions when they have one, try to begin a conversation, and support their friends.

3)    Try to provide opportunity for the children to play and interact with one another in the classroom.

 

Treatment

Contrary to popular belief, childhood is not a carefree time. Children face a lot of problems that become the cause of their stress. Incidences like divorce between parents, death of a family member or shifting of residence can have a bad impact on the child. During these events, children feel a range of feelings that confuses them.

They need to adjust to these major changes. The child’s parents should show their support for the child. Often, the encouragement from parents is enough for the child to move on from a major event, but some children face difficulties and need a little more help in the area. Parents should consider taking help from a professional therapist or counsellor in that case. By getting professional help, you can encourage your child to explore their inner feelings. Some children find it difficult to open up to people because they want to keep the family’s problems a secret, while others express their emotions by becoming violent, or withdrawn. Counsellors can not only help the child deal with family issues, but also the parents.

Symptoms:

1)    Sadness:  The child seems to be withdrawn and sad for a long period of time, and nothing seems to help with the situation. Distracting the child doesn’t help either. The child becomes sensitive, cries over trivial matters, and finds it difficult to stop crying. They express their emotions through their actions. They can also be aggressive and cause trouble to demonstrate their sadness.

 

2)    Losing themselves in the past: Many children form a tendency to think increasingly about events of the past. They share memories of the times when their family used to live in different conditions, or when a loved one was alive. Some children complain that they have thoughts about death, the separation of their parents, or other such life changing events. This is a normal reaction to stressful situations right after the event. The child may need help in moving on from the past and talking more about the present.

 

3)    Withdrawal: They start showing a lack of interest in playing with other children and want to be left alone instead of being in the company of friends and adults. They scarcely joke, laugh or enjoy anything they do.

 

4)    Problem with Leaving the Parents: The child refuses to part with their parents, or asks about their parents several times throughout the day. This is a sign of problem if the child was accustomed to leaving the parent before.

 

5)    Lack of Concentration: The child faces difficulty in trying to concentrate and getting work done. They may appear to be distracted, or may not settle and participate in any activity that they are given. They might also not follow instructions. These children often comment on how they are unable to concentrate on a particular thing for a long period of time.

 

6)    Change in Habits: Many children change their routines. Some children don’t want to wake up, or they may face problems falling asleep. They might have nightmares or eat in irregular proportions. Adults have a difficult time trying to understand what the child might do next or when they might do it.

 

7)    Acting Younger: A child who was previously toilet-trained could now start needing diapers and having accidents. Some children have been observed to start suckling their thumbs again, while others might want to be constantly carried around by elders even though they can walk.

 

8)    Feeling Guilty: For children who attend school, this becomes a huge problem. They might believe that their parents’ divorce or the death in the family is their fault. They may feel responsible for taking care of siblings or a parent. They also face problems in talking to their parents.

 

9)    Short Temper: Often children become angry and engage in fights with other children. They display violence against children and adults by biting, shouting, and hitting them. They also start to have problems with their siblings.

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