The Kamasutra: 5 Positions to Avoid for Member Safety
The Art of the Kamasutra is an ancient text that instructs in love
and intimacy and is known the world round for its acrobatic and flexible
positions. While trying new things is always fun, there are some positions that
should be approached with caution or completely avoided because of the damage
they could cause to the member. Here are five positions men should seriously
consider before trying.
Kamasutra No-No Position #1: The Cowgirl and Lean Back
Okay, so the man is laying on his back with the
woman astride in typical cowgirl fashion. Feels good, right? Okay, but then
comes the lean back, which deepens penetration and may lead to a little G-spot
stimulation for her. The lean then increases.
So, as that lean goes all the way, the member
is forced to hyperextend from the pressure and weight on the shaft of the
member. Over time, it creates scar tissue, which creates a plaque buildup that
can lead to Peyronie’s disease, or a significant and potentially painful bend
in the member.
Kamasutra No-No Position #2: The Kitchen Quickie
In this position, the woman is sitting on a
counter and the man is standing on his tiptoes. Thrust and repeat. Seems like a
fun, spontaneous way to play naughty housewife, right?
This position is really risky and can lead to a
member fracture. Because it is such a highly sensual position, thrusting can
get a little imprecise, and the member can slam into the counter or the woman’s
pubic bone if he goes too high or too low. Also, if the man is on tiptoes and
gets a leg cramp, he could slam the member at an unforgiving angle.
Kamasutra No-No Position #3: Pogo Stick
Okay, this is another standing position that
most people would think of as standing missionary. The man holds the total
weight of the woman, who will sometimes wrap her legs around his waist. The man
then flexes his knees while literally bouncing the woman on his shaft.
This position has a lot of injury potential.
Back pain, strain, knee buckling, knee injury, and if he bounces wrong, the
member can poke into another area that denies entry, causing a bruise or
fracture. Proceed cautiously.
Kamasutra No-No Position #4: Standing Wheelbarrow
Noticing a theme here? This position looks like
what it sounds like. The man stands and enters the woman like he would for
doggy style, but then lifts her up by her pelvis. She then wraps her legs
around the man’s waist and puts her hands on the ground. It’s like summer camp,
but hotter.
There are several possibilities for injury
here. She keeps moving and he stops, and upon re-entry the member bends
uncomfortably. His arms give out and he drops her with his member still in.
Back strain from leaning back slightly and tripping over shoes while
wheelbarrowing through the house is another potential consequence.
Kamasutra No-No Position #5: Exercise Ball Blitz
So, the first question must be, why an exercise
ball? For the bounce, of course! However, think about it. Remember bounce
houses – did everyone who was bouncing stay up? Did they go in the directions
they intended?
In this position, the man sits on the ball with
the woman astride, facing him. Then bounce. It seems fun, right? Well, if the
bounce is too high, the member can slip out, and every time the member comes
all the way out in any position, there is an increased chance of a member
break. It can also really hurt the woman involved. Double ouch!
No matter which Kamasutra positions a man
chooses, he should always rejuvenate his member with a little tenderness. After
cleansing, massage the member with a
specially formulated male organ health creme (health professionals
recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which
has been clinically proven safe and mild for skin). Chock full of
member-specific vitamins and amino acids, the crème will rejuvenate and protect
the member, while hydrating and sealing in moisture so the guy downstairs is
ready to plow through the Kamasutra.
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