Self-pleasuring 101: Is It Necessary to Wash Your Hands Before and After You Self-pleasure?
Washing one’s hands seems like a big part of everyday life. We
wash after going to the bathroom, after eating, after doing anything messy, and
even after sneezing (or if we think someone else we shook hands with did).
However, are men washing their hands before and after they self-pleasure? Maybe
not, if they’re being honest. Look on any men’s forum boards on Reddit or other
popular sites and you may find that men don’t see the point in doing it
beforehand, and some even think “just wiping them off” on a towel or some other
inanimate (one hopes) object is good enough. Well, guys, it’s not, and here’s
why.
Why Wash Before Self-pleasuring?
Let’s first agree that your male organ is a special thing, yes?
You want to keep it safe and happy. With that in mind, take in this next
information. At any particular given time, the human hand contains, on average,
3200 bacteria, plus fecal particles. Yes, fecal particles. Okay, digest that
for a minute.
So, while washing your hands isn’t considered mandatory, you may
want to make it part of your pre-game. It reduces your risk of getting infections
like balanitis, which is a very itchy, ugly, uncomfortable infection on the
head of your member. It’s even worse if a man is uncircumcised because skin
folds can trap things like dirt, bacteria, dead skin cells, and oils. This can
lead to something else that’s quite unpleasant, smegma, sometimes known by the
very nose-offending term, male organ–cheese.
If you want to protect your family jewels, take a minute to wash
your hands before a wank. Consider it part of a respectful ritual that keeps
your male organ health high and your risk of infection low.
Why Wash After Self-pleasuring?
First of all, just ewwww. Seriously, would you want to shake hands
with a guy who just shook his male organ…to completion? Didn’t think so. But
aside from the gross factor, let’s talk about personal and public health
issues.
Wiping it on a towel doesn’t cut it. Remnants of seed, creme, and
other not-so-fun things are still meandering around invisibly on your hands.
These are things that can transfer to other parts of your own body. For
instance, when you are self-pleasuring, you are very near your bum, and may
even stimulate it or your perineum. Well, now there is microscopic fecal matter
on your hand. A little while after self-pleasuring, you rub your eye. Later
that night, you have pink eye. The fecal matter found its way into your eye and
caused an infection. It could have been prevented had you washed your hands
post-playtime.
Skipping the soap and water after jacking it can also then pass
all sorts of things onto other people. In addition to doing the above to others
(giving them infections via fecal matter), there are other more serious things
at work here. Here’s the thing, there are 27 known viruses in your seed. They
can be sensually transmitted directly into the bloodstream. Ebola, HIV, Zika,
and others live in the seed, and when you don’t wash the seed away after a
happy explosion, you put others at risk.
Long story short, don’t be a public nuisance, wash your hands
after you stroke your salami.
The Proper Member Prep and Post-intimacy Protocol
Taking proper care of Mr. Happy isn’t complicated, especially when
“taking care of Mr. Happy” (nudge-nudge, wink-wink). It’s pretty simple: before
self-pleasuring, wash your hands well with an antibacterial soap. Most experts
say the process should last the length of time it takes a person to sing the
Happy Birthday song. Rinse your hands well and towel dry. If you do add lotion
at this time, make sure it is free of any unnatural or harsh ingredients that
could irritate your member. Now go ahead and get to strokin’.
And….BOOM! The magic has happened, the confetti has been thrown.
Now it’s time to clean up. It’s easiest to just jump into the shower and, using
warm water and a mild, all-natural cleanser, thoroughly wash the member, being
mindful of every fold and wrinkle. Next, rinse well to ensure that no soap is
left on the member. Once done, pat or air dry. As a final step, apply
a specially formulated male organ health oil (health professionals
recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which
has been clinically proven mild and safe for skin). It not only uses shea
butter and vitamin E to keep the skin soft and supple, but it also has
L-carnitine, an amino acid known to prevent against peripheral nerve damage,
which can sometimes result from too frequent or too intense chicken choking.
It’s a critical part of a male organ health regimen that’ll keep your member
strong and active into your twilight years.
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