Steps to Thriving After Divorce

Whether you wanted the divorce or not, there is still sadness, pain and loss.

Reflect on all the things that you appreciated and enjoyed as well as all the things you don't ever want to have or that you aren't willing to tolerate again.

If there is a pattern and you don't want to repeat it again, then you need to consciously change it and seek something different.

Clarity and new relationships. Now that you have identified your values, your desires and your patterns, you can be clear on the type of person you want to be and who you want to attract into your life.

It gives you a guideline of what type of relationship you want to create.

I want someone who challenges me in a healthy way because I would get bored with a "Yes" man.

I want someone who enjoys making me laugh and laughs with me because I have a quick wit and laughter is important to me.

I want someone who honors my love language and I, his so we both feel acknowledged in our own meaningful way.

From the work you did above, you know what you want to recreate and what you don't.

With the "Don't want" category, change the statements into what you want.

"I want a man/woman who is faithful to me" rather than "I want a man/woman that doesn't cheat".

Is your partner one who always has to be in the right or are you? When arguments happen, and they will, do you want someone who can listen and respond or someone who storms off and sweeps things under the rug? What kind of communications do you want to have? Do you want someone driven to succeed in their career or happy to earn an honest living without worried about moving up? 

Do you want someone who loves to learn new things and is open minded? Do you want adventurous or a homebody? Does the relationship with their family or friends matter to you? Finally, you need to identify what beliefs you have around relationships and men/women and even yourself in a relationship.

In reviewing your journal, what belief do you have? Does that belief still serve you? What new belief do you want to replace it with? Now, get quiet again.

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