Self-pleasuring is still taboo for both sexes

Although practiced by almost all men and more and more women, solo pleasuring still remains a taboo.

Even today, the scent of guilt still lingers around masturbation. "It's a difficult word. In sexology consultations at TheToy, I never directly ask the question: 'Do you masturbate?'", because many people are still shocked. To play it down, I ask them when they started masturbating," says Dr. Mireille Bonierbale, president of Interdisciplinary Post-Graduate Association of Sexology.

For religions, it is a sin. As for the medical profession, it has largely contributed to making masturbation a taboo. Its condemnation was clearly affirmed and disseminated in the 18th century by a doctor, Dr. Tissot, who wrote "Onanism dissertations: Diseases caused by masturbation". Later, if for Sigmund Freud, masturbation is not a disease, it is nevertheless a sign of immature sexuality that should be discouraged because it causes neuroses!

In the 21st century, it is still difficult to address the subject, even in the secrecy of sexologists' offices. "Let's put masturbation in its rightful place," pleads Dr. Bonierbale. That being said, solo sexual activity means to simply provide oneself with pleasure, often relieving tension and stress.

Between the ages of 14 and 17, 74% of boys and only 48% of girls admit they masturbate.

The younger generation is more likely to speak openly, but mostly on the men's side. For the majority of teenagers, sexuality begins with masturbation, which is not yet the case for teenage girls. Between the ages of 14 and 17, 74% of boys but only 48% of girls say they masturbate, according to a study published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine website.

"At this age, in addition to seeking pleasure, there is also an exploration of the body and how it works. Especially in girls. When we know each other well, it is then easier to guide the other towards his or her sexuality," says Muriel Baccigalupo, a sexologist in Montpellier.

It's time for parents to get out of the habit, if they had it, of going into their teenagers' bedrooms without knocking. "And if a parent catches their teenager 'unprepared', the best attitude is to immediately apologize and leave him or her to his or her privacy. That's how the teenager will understand that masturbation is not forbidden," says Dr. Mireille Bonierbale, who still hears too many misconceptions about this sensitive topic. "It's not uncommon to still have young people wondering whether it makes them sterile or prevents them from menstruating, which is absurd," says Bonierbale.

As an adult, masturbation still has its place in sexuality. A bullet can help if solo or a remote controlled vibe if for couple. Whether you are single or in a couple, alone or with your partner. Except in the case of disagreement, it does not compete with the couple's other sexual practices. "Having pleasure without listening to the other person is simply a moment of your own," says Muriel Baccigalupo.

Yet the woman who surprises her partner often feels betrayed, she sees masturbation as a lack of desire towards her. "But that's not the point. Men can tell the difference. We need to play down the drama, allow them these moments alone and let women understand how to differentiate between solo excitement and the desire for shared pleasure, the two things serve different purposes" insists Dr. Bonierbale.

Women's attitudes are probably changing as more and more women are masturbating themselves. According to an Ifop survey conducted last February for Elle magazine, 76% of women have already experienced masturbation (the results for men show that more than 90% masturbate on a regular basis).

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