I'm HIV Positive - Do You Like to Date Me?

I am HIV-positive, and I'm also on medication and I feel really good, and I feel very healthy. My age is 36 and I am single. I just want to tell you my story, my point of view and maybe this also could help someone else who is in the same situation or maybe their friends and family to cope with these things.

Firstly, people are always asking me how I got infected. This is really not a secret. I was infected in Canada on a holiday trip. It's not so important anymore how I was infected or by whom? I think we all know how it happens how you get infected the whole story. I know the person who infected me very well. Still, none of this information will change the fact that I was infected.

So I think it's just better to accept the fact and move on with my life, and it'll be difficult initially. I have certainly gone through hell at the beginning of this time. But as time goes on, time heals all the wounds. So you just go on. Hats all. I came out in the public about being positive in 2013 in my home country Finland. You know the country between Sweden (with the blonds) and Russia. Finland is of course the country mostly known for mobile phones, you know which ones I talk about Nokia. So maybe you ask yourselves why the heck I had to come out about this publicly that I am positive? I wanted to keep this just between family and friends, and I did so for six years until this "friend" he thought differently.

Read More: Being Abused on Dating Apps for having HIV

Maybe ask yourselves now why the heck did I do this now then? To come out publicly? After this so-called "friend of mine" when he threatened to expose me to the media, I didn't have many choices. How could a friend do something like this to another? To make this answer very short, I didn't know he wasn't my good friend until this happened. There was just an incident, and he got angry with me for some really stupid reason and then just told me that he would expose me to the public.

So he threatened me with this. Certainly, he's not a friend of mine anymore! I see him now as a really big IDIOT! Anyway, after this happened. I got something to think about, and I'm a bit of a celebrity in my country after being in some TV shows. I had something to think about, and my life was going well.

I didn't want to come out in public with this, especially not being exposed by someone else, so I decided after thinking about it for approximately a year that I would do with myself. I would come out of my closet in my way, and I would do with the right way and the most honest way, and this is what I did. So, this was one of the hardest things I did as I feared what would happen afterward.

My strongest fears were, of course, my friends and family; what would their reactions be, and also, as I worked in the media, would I have any work after coming out with this? So, coming out of my closet is something. Nowadays, I regret it in a way, as people in Finland were not so open-minded and accepting as I thought they would be. The outcome is that I have fewer friends than before, and fewer work and fewer work offers than before, and of course, I knew these changes would come. Still, I wasn't prepared for such big changes, especially how people started to treat me; I couldn't understand because I was the same person as before and for the last six years when they didn't have  a clue about me being positive.

Many friends became more distant to me, and the invitations for lunch, dinner, parties, or whatever media events stopped almost totally. And even though I'm still the same person as I was before this happened. Of course, there are great friends among my friends who are supportive. They are still the same friends as they used to be. They are not as many as they used to be, but maybe they were not really my close friends after all, and maybe it was just good that they, well, some of them disappeared.

I always had a strong urge to help others, so I offered to help in the different HIV organizations in Finland. Still, for some reasons unknown to me, they were not so cooperative as I would have thought and wanted, so I have to think right now that maybe it was not meant for me to work with them. Probably I would not recommend anyone to step out of the closet, especially publicly, unless you are very certain about doing it and you have all the support you need from friends and loved ones. You will find people who are supportive. But remember you will also find the ones that are not, so choose carefully who to trust. Most important nowadays, I think, is to be HIV tested, so you can get help or medication when it's needed, and personally, I eat only1 tablet a day. This is just something I see as taking a shower, brushing my teeth or anything else that you do in everyday life.

The most difficult part is what others can also identify themselves with is probably loneliness. I feel very lonely sometimes, and probably this would help if I found Mr. Right. He has not been found yet, but it should be someone in your life to share your life with. Somebody who loves you for who you are and for what you are, despite your illness. It's very difficult and challenging, especially now being HIV-positive, to find Mr. Right.

Read More: Dating Someone With HIV - You Can Still Have a True Love 

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Created on Apr 6th 2021 02:42. Viewed 299 times.

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