I’m Getting Healthy! But Where’s the Love?

Okay, so you’ve finally decided to lose weight, to change your unhealthy lifestyle habits to live and be a better, happier, more vibrant, healthier person.  

Congratulations!  But, say what? All of those close to you are now in rebellion or you’ve discovered underlying jealousy, envy and self-sabotaging efforts on their part.  “Here you go sweetie, delicious chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven!” “You look fine just the way you are. You don’t need to change.” You thought they wanted the best for you but now there’s no sign of support?

What are you going to do?  You’ve got some choices:

Give up and go back to your unhealthy habits.  Okay, don’t make this a choice.  This really isn’t the best option and you know it.  Next!

 

Keep it to yourself and do it anyway.  Better but still the ice cream may be calling you and then what?  Add fudge or call a lifeline?

Find support. You know you struggle to find a motivation to lose weight. Now, this is the smartest option yet, wouldn’t you agree?  Let’s go! You want to be successful, don’t you?

Let’s look at each one of these options.

Give up:  

What is this decision costing you?  Whose life are you living anyway? Who’s to blame here?  No, it’s not them. The responsibility is yours. Stop self- sabotaging! No excuses.   You’ve tried and tried before but to no avail. And the family?  The family is rebelling against eating fresh fruits and vegetables.  Your best friend is encouraging you to become the next American Idol.  Yes, I meant to spell it this way! There’s no winning here! Move on and try again!

Keep it to yourself and do it anyway:  

This is the lone wolf approach but the challenge here is that it is lonely.  By going at it alone, you might be really setting yourself up for a harder journey than it really has to be.  Why not make it easier on yourself?

Everyone needs some kind of support and feedback beyond yourself or the dog.  This choice will test your will, persistence, and desire, so be prepared. But I think you’d be better off with some backup.  The American Idols sound way better with a full band and backup singers. Ultimately, it comes down to your decision, but you might want to check your track record.  How successful were you in the past at going it alone? Did you have lasting results? Or did you have to make numerous attempts to finally get to your goal, if you ever did make it there?  If you do decide on this choice and you do succeed, the feeling of triumph is all yours. No one can take that away from you. Cherish it but keep on going and keep it up. But eventually, you may want to consider…

Finding support:

There are so many options beyond just friends and family.  But, of course, you naturally want to have those closest to you be just as excited as you and to cheer you on.  What are friends and family for anyway?  Support, right?

Not always. You might discover that your best friend all of a sudden becomes jealous or envious of your new found healthy outlook on life; your spouse shows their love by encouraging poor food choices, couch potato habits and constantly puts tempting food in front of you.  What’s happening?

Actually, this can be a natural part of your friends’ and family’s adjustment to the new you.  Yes, you might be surprised who your own worst enemies are when you’ve finally decided to live a healthy lifestyle, but it really is their problem and not yours.  Your concern is to stay focused on you because it really is none of your business what they think about you. It is your business to take care of yourself. So, if friends and family are not an option for support, start to look elsewhere.

Before you go looking, clarify what you’d want from a support partner or weight loss support group and consider the following:

• Reliability helps with staying committed to your goals
  
• Do you want them to be at your same starting point so that it will be a journey together from the start?
  
• Are you looking for a mentor?  A person who is already successful at what you are aiming for.  You’re thinking that by hanging around them that their healthy habits will rub off on you and that you can also learn from them.  
  
• Set up the times and days for accountability.  Do you want to be able to call at all times of the day and night?  Or would you prefer some time restraints? It’s better to be clear and upfront with the person that you decide on so that you both know what to expect from one another.
  
• Do they have a positive outlook on life?  You don’t need any nagging Nellie’s to bring you down.
• Are they truly living a healthy life?  There are some people who appear to be healthy but live off of donuts, coffee, and stimulants, yet are skinny. Skinny does not equate to being healthy.
  

Now, where to look?  Here are a few ideas that you can start to explore. Look into them and try a few before you find the right support for you.

• Church

• Meetup.com

• Neighbors

• The gym for a gym buddy

• Ask anybody and everybody for referrals

• Look in healthy publications such as this one

• Start up your own health-conscious group and sees who’s interested in joining you on your quest

• Life and health coaches

• Personal fitness trainers

• Nutritionists

• Exercise class instructors

• Try different exercise classes and meet other like-minded individuals

• Take healthy food classes

• Start walking with other parents at sports practices or day-long sporting events

• Check out your local community events calendar.  There are plenty of fitness bonding activities.