How To Get Him To Commit When He Says “I’m Not Ready”

No woman wants to hear these words. After the loving, intimate hours you have shared together- it may even amount to months or even years- to hear your man say ‘I’m not ready’, well that really hurts doesn’t it? How you respond is of course up to you, but it goes without saying that your response will to some extent dictate the future of your relationship. So what is the right way to respond and what will happen next? We break it down for you below;

Men are different to women. They think differently and they have different priorities. If a man is saying that he is not ready to take the relationship to the next level, he is letting you know-in the fairest way possible- that he has reached his limit of what he is prepared to give; for now. 

What does this mean? Well essentially it can mean one of the following;

• He is still finding his feet in the relationship at its current level of commitment and is too unnerved by the closeness he feels to you to get any closer.
• He is concerned about losing his identity or feels that he is giving up his freedom if he commits any further.

Both of these really come down to one basic fear he has and are primary reasons why men pull away. There are things he wants to experience and he believes that taking the relationship to the next level will prevent him from having a life that is rich with the chance to try new things.

The more we look at it, the more we will keep coming back to one concept; freedom. Men need it, value it and love it. What’s more, any (perceived) threat to their freedom will be something they will want to run a mile from. 

This is powerful information for a woman and you should arm yourself with it when responding to your man’s declaration of ‘I’m not ready’. 

Your response

When responding, you should do so in a way that is reassuring to your man. Now is the time to let him know that;

• You love him. Be open and honest about your love for him.
• You appreciate his honest and upfront expression of not being ready.
• You are not threatened or intimidated by his need for freedom. 
• You support his need for freedom.

There are some don’ts;

• Don’t cling- this scares and annoys men
• Don’t nag- this isn’t respectful and gets you nowhere
• Don’t rebuke him. He has just been honest and you want that to continue, right?

The point of your response should be to show him that you love him and that while saddened to hear he is not ready, you appreciate his honesty. You want him to understand that you are going to respect his space and his boundaries, which he has just clearly set. 

Then follow through. Allow him his space. Let him be. In the time that follows, don’t call him to check in, don’t question him. It’s about finding a balance between letting him be while remaining open and loving. This takes strength, courage and trust. 

Want to keep a man interested? Understand the way a guy needs you to see him and you’ll hold the key. There are some great programs and coaches out there..look around and see what feels right.