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It is not difficult to fall in love, but the difficulty is to depend on each other and stay together for life. I still remember in "Swordsman in the Swordsman", the vast snow was flying, Lin Pingzhi's sword carved the eight characters "The sea is dry and the stone is rotten, and the love is unswerving" behind the snowman of Shaoshi Mountain. Not really sincere? But still can't resist the severe force of the wind and frost sword in the future.
Love also has life, and it will also experience birth, old age, sickness and death, everything. The initiation of love may be just a flash of lightning, but maintaining the life of love requires a hundred times more time and patience. With the deepening of communication, the early "projection-identification" game can no longer continue. Lovers' suppressed true selves are calling for release. They can no longer play an ideal lover, but want to be a real lover. .
This is also the essence of intimacy.
People's hearts are often composed of three layers: the outermost layer is the protective layer, the next is the pain, and the deepest is the true self. When lovers pluck up the courage to peel off the shell full of defense mechanism layer by layer, they are also showing their pain to the other person. This is painful, and it must be like peeling an onion skin, tearing while peeling.
If the other person’s response is positive and accepting, even if the lover sheds tears and pain, he will firmly peel off the protective shells layer by layer because of the emotional companionship and support, until the complete core is revealed. If both parties can accept each other so frankly, then love will develop into a stage of stable communication, with violin and singing, and we are in the same boat.
But many times, limited by their own narrowness, shortcomings, and various unfinished complexes, people desire intimacy and fear intimacy. They would rather believe that revealing their true self will only invite criticism, rejection and abandonment by others. It is also very difficult. I believe that someone is willing to accept their inner truth. Therefore, when the relationship develops to a certain level, they will shrink back, be afraid, play a role, wander between manipulation and control, give birth to jealousy and disgust, escape and betrayal, and turn the relationship field into a playground for performances. All kinds of farce and fantasy.
In the final analysis, it is easy to love each other, but not easy to stay together, because we misunderstand "love". One year, one night in the autumn breeze, the leaves of the persimmon tree of Guo Degang's family fell out, and the red persimmons were like lanterns rising in the yard. Soon, magpies climbed onto the branches, pecking at the persimmon bit by bit. The child at home was in a hurry, so he couldn't help but chase away. When Lao Guo saw it, he hurriedly stopped and said, "Don't be so alone, let it eat!"
Then, Lao Guo said to his son: "A person's life is very long, it is not bad to eat this persimmon. And this magpie eats at most one persimmon in this life. Seeing it has something to eat is also a joy."
I think this is really good material for teaching children. "Don't be so alone, let it eat!" If all parents in the world borrow this story to educate their children, their children's education will not be bad.
I took the train a few days ago, and the four-berth soft-sleeper box was empty except for the three of us. Not long after the car started, the old man said, let's rest early. Yes, we are tired from playing these days, we fall asleep. After the car passed Jiaxing, a lady came up and knocked gently on the door. Seeing that there were dark lights in the box, she took advantage of the lights in the corridor to put her luggage, make up the bed, close the door, and crept on her upper bunk. . She didn't turn on the light until she lay down, even her bedside lamp.
At that time, just after 7 o'clock in the evening, music was still playing in the train.
No words for a night. In the morning the conductor came to change the ticket and informed her that it was time to get off, so she
To sort out. At first, I thought she was packing her bags, but she was folding the quilt. After going out countless times, riding in countless cars, reading countless people, where have you seen this quilt still need to be folded? I saw that she unfolded the quilt patiently, changed several ways, and finally folded it as it was before unfolding last night. Then, she even flattened and stretched each corner of the two pillows, and the sound of the "swish" stretching pillow sounded really sweet.
The stop she got off was Dezhou, Shandong. Whether she is a Texan or not, because of her, this place suddenly becomes kind. Do you still need to know what the lady’s last name is? Education is the best name for a person.
Created on Dec 24th 2020 21:06. Viewed 57 times.