There is such a couple by my side. They have almost never quarreled when they are in love. They got a license to get married while mixing oil, but after marriage they separated because of work. When the woman is unsatisfactory, she calls, and her tone breaks out, the man will hang up the phone silently...
Almost all the time, the relationship between the two of them gradually became cold, and even getting angry and noisy became a luxury. The so-called respect as a guest, it turned out to be respect as ice.
"It's like a punch on cotton, unspeakable and uncomfortable." The woman described it like this, her expression of loss and pain.
If a man and a woman even quarrel is too unnecessary, the relationship will probably be exhausted.
Those men and women who entered the siege hand in hand should have a deep understanding of this. I didn't break up a few times before, and I didn't make the noise so much that it was really hard to get old.
Because we can touch each other's temperament again and again in such verbal collisions, and judge whether two people can go on and how far they can go. Love or not, you can know the best after a fight.
After all, we are two completely independent individuals, and come from different original families, conflicts and contradictions are really unavoidable in a long life.
So I want to know whether our love can produce enough tolerance and reason to resolve these potential risk factors.
In fact, quarreling is a skill. The sound intensity, reconciliation opportunity, and apology are almost all learned. The sexual relationship that can't learn to fight will either die in endless silence or fall apart in uncontrolled catharsis.
My parents, in their nearly 30 years of company, there is no lack of quarrels.
They are all vulgar people, yelling when they are in a hurry, saying anything unpleasant. Maybe it's because of the pressure in life, both of them are a bit reluctant to speak, those words are like knives and pierced into their hearts.
I was always worried that they would get divorced. When I heard my parents raise their voices, I was so frightened that I didn't dare to speak out, but within three days they would reconcile as before, talking and laughing together to work in the mountains and cut the grass.
The uncle and aunt of the house next door had quarrels all year round. The life was bumpy. After three to five years, they finally parted ways.
At that time, in the absence of world affairs, I always thought that loving couples should not quarrel, watching the tragedy of the neighbor's marriage and repelling all quarrels, and the love and marriage that I imagined in my heart are all gifted and beautiful.
Later, after talking about love several times, I realized that getting along is not easy. Two people with their own sharp edges are always easy to get tired and hostile. You can't understand me, and I can't understand you. If you get together, you can separate.
Everyone has a temper, but patience is lacking. If you think about it carefully, it's probably not that you don't love. It's just that you didn't understand love when you were young. Once the conflicts and differences came, I felt that the love was broken, and would no longer be willing to mend it and make it return to its original state.
So instead, I understood the parents' way of getting along. The right person may be the one who can't get rid of the noise and fight.
However, there is a prerequisite for the quarrel, that is, every time after Mingjin retreats, you can sum up experience and lessons, sign the principle of peaceful coexistence, and find a more suitable way of getting along with you.
Otherwise, the raging wars will only wear out patience, drain emotions, and get a devastation that can't bear to look directly.
When I first met my husband, I thought we would never quarrel. He is so gentle and considerate, like a Ruyi Langjun tailored for me by God.
When in love, many people are like me, believing that they can make peace with their significant other. Because the two people at this time are cleverly disguising themselves, trying to show the most perfect side. So the gentleness of the man's affection and the woman's tenderness, no matter how you look at it, looks like a couple of gods.
The secretion of dopamine is the best filter, it automatically filters out those difficult and difficult things, and gives you a bright future.
The cruelty of marriage is that it will tear away layers of disguise, revealing their own unbearableness and ugliness nakedly.
Accompanied by day and night, eating and drinking Lazar almost all tied together. Two people who grow up from different backgrounds and different families cannot completely synchronize their views on things.
You have your value orientation and I have my rules of life. These abstract concepts will be projected into the affairs of life one by one, causing a lot of troubles. Even a soul mate with a coordinated pace of three views, it is difficult for a long life to never blush.
As everyone knows, respecting each other as a guest is the biggest lie in marriage.
Just like my husband and I have slowly reached this point:
I hate him playing games, he can't understand my shopaholics;
I think he is sloppy, he says I am lazy;
I think he doesn't love me, he complains that I don't understand him;
...
We also mentioned breaking up when we quarreled, but we always cried in the moment when we turned around. Because the thought of not having a partner for the rest of my life will be sad, so I can sit down and negotiate a reconciliation, get to know myself and each other through emotional vent, and then amend my bad temper and be careful and become a better version of myself.
The beauty of love lies in this. When the fierce flames are raging, I want to buy a knife to kill you, but I bought your favorite dish on the way to buy a knife. The two exchanged cups and lingering together, and the days went lively and lively.
Unless it is tired, the request has weakened a little bit with the expectation, this is the expression of disappointment and accumulation, and it is also one of the signs of love leaving.
It is said that every couple has 100 thoughts of divorce and 50 urges to strangle each other, but there are so many people who have gone from green silk to gray hair.
So quarrels are not terrible, what is terrible are those useless catharsis and endless silence.
It was said in "The Feeling of Ascending to Heaven" that communication can only happen when bad emotions are vented and inner peace is restored.
Only when communication occurs can the problem be resolved. When there is a conflict, I just want you to keep in mind that this is a process of discovering and solving problems, rather than simply venting and venting.
First ask yourself, why are you fighting?
Is the derailment and change of heart the big mistake, or the trivial matter in life? Principle errors and accidental errors cannot be generalized.
Then, through this quarrel, we can see the root cause of the problem.
Some disputes originate from the disagreement of the three views, while others are only a momentary upset and dissatisfaction. The former requires a long run-in and patience, but the latter is laughable.
Finally, can the wrongdoer correct or compromise? Can the other party tolerate concessions? Is there a plan to reach a consensus?
Humans are social animals, but they are also distinct individuals. When you choose him among the vast crowd, it means to accept everything about him. The advantages are cherished, and the disadvantages are gradually transformed.
There is no good thing in the world that only makes money without losing, and love and marriage are nothing more than this. With more tolerance and understanding, life will have more hope and happiness.
You should know that every time you open your teeth and dance your claws and utter bad words, it is a self-stress under an irrational state, and behind it, maybe the other party's unspoken expectation and waiting.
The person who will cry for you hoarsely is actually just saying I love you in a fierce exaggerated language.
Created on Jan 16th 2021 19:09. Viewed 111 times.