Finding Yourself After Loss: The Power of Meaning Reconstruction

Grief affects everyone differently. Some people are able to gradually adjust to life without their loved one, while others find themselves stuck—unable to move forward, even months or years after the loss. For those who continue to experience intense longing, difficulty accepting the death, or a deep sense that life has lost its purpose, professional help may be needed.

Two common therapeutic approaches for grief are Prolonged Grief Treatment (PGT) and Grief Therapy as Meaning Reconstruction (GTMR). While both aim to ease suffering, they differ significantly in their focus and process. Understanding these differences can help you or someone you care about find the right kind of support.

What is Prolonged Grief Treatment?

Prolonged Grief Treatment is a structured therapy designed specifically for individuals who are experiencing symptoms of prolonged grief, sometimes referred to as complicated grief. This includes ongoing sadness, a sense of disbelief, avoidance of reminders of the loss, and an inability to re-engage with life.

PGT typically focuses on reducing these symptoms by encouraging the person to accept the reality of the loss, process emotions tied to the loss, and gradually reintroduce activities that bring meaning and pleasure. It uses techniques such as exposure (revisiting painful memories), guided imagery, and behavioural activation to reduce avoidance and emotional numbness.

This approach can be very effective in helping people "unfreeze" from the intense early stages of grief. But for some, symptom relief is not enough. They may still be left with a lingering question: Who am I now that this person is gone?

Grief Therapy as Meaning Reconstruction

Grief Therapy as Meaning Reconstruction takes a different approach. It’s not just about feeling better—it’s about rebuilding a sense of identity, purpose, and meaning after loss. Developed by psychologist Robert Neimeyer, this model views grief as a natural (though painful) process of adapting to a new world that no longer includes someone deeply significant.

Rather than trying to move away from the pain, GTMR helps people move with it—by making sense of the loss and understanding how it fits into their life story. The goal is not to "get over" the loss, but to integrate it into a new narrative of life. Clients are encouraged to explore the values, memories, and roles that were connected to the person who died and consider how those things might continue in new ways.

This may involve writing letters to the deceased, creating memory books, exploring spiritual beliefs, or simply having space to reflect on the life and legacy of the person lost. GTMR helps people ask, “What does this loss mean to me?” and “How do I live meaningfully now?”

Why Meaning Matters

Research increasingly shows that finding meaning after a loss is a strong predictor of psychological wellbeing. People who are able to make sense of a death—especially one that was sudden or traumatic—tend to experience fewer long-term mental health difficulties. They may still feel sad or miss the person dearly, but they are more able to re-engage with life and experience joy again.

Meaning doesn’t come in a one-size-fits-all package. For one person, it might mean carrying forward a loved one’s values through volunteer work. For another, it might mean shifting life goals or deepening family relationships. GTMR offers the flexibility to explore grief in a way that aligns with a person’s beliefs, personality, and lived experience.

When PGT Falls Short

Prolonged Grief Treatment is based on reducing distress—an important goal, especially when someone feels overwhelmed or unable to function. But not everyone responds well to the structured, symptom-focused nature of PGT.

Some people may feel like they’re being pushed to move on before they’re ready. Others may feel that focusing too much on the behavioural side of grief (like reintroducing social activities or work routines) skips over the emotional and existential side—especially for those grieving the death of a child, partner, or parent who shaped their identity.

In contrast, GTMR allows more space for the complexity of grief. It acknowledges that grief can be a form of love, and that it deserves to be witnessed, not simply resolved.

Which Is Right for You?

Both approaches can be helpful, and sometimes they can be blended. If someone is feeling paralysed by intense grief symptoms and unable to function, PGT may be a good starting point. But if you—or someone you’re supporting—feels that the loss has shaken your whole sense of self or meaning, GTMR may offer something deeper.

The reality is, grief changes us. Grief therapy isn’t about returning to who we were before the loss—it’s about becoming someone new, with the loss as part of the story. Grief Therapy as Meaning Reconstruction honours this process, offering a path not just through grief, but toward growth.

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